


[Underfell] How do you even do a Date?

by Silent_Observer_of_time



Series: Spears and Bones [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Awkward Dates, Behind the Scenes, Big Brother Sans, Brotherly Bonding, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, Crack Relationships, Crossdressing, Dirty Jokes, Established Alphys/Undyne, Family Feels, Forbidden Love, Friendship/Love, Implied Relationships, Insecurity, Just Friends, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, Memory Related, Mental Breakdown, Multi, Musicians, Play Fighting, Protective Sans, Relationship(s), Sans Being An Asshole, Sans Has Issues, Sexual Experimentation, Shipping, Sleep Sex, Underfell Flowey, Underfell Mettaton, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underfell Undyne, underfell alphys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 11:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_Observer_of_time/pseuds/Silent_Observer_of_time
Summary: What would've happened if... [POV: Undyne] & [POV: Papyrus] Mixed (One-shot)Undyne and Alphys decides to make a game where each one of them gets paired off with the other, dragging their friends with them.*Mettaton just wants to bond with Papyrus*Papyrus just wants to belong (Whatever a Date means)*Sans just wants free food and an excuse from work....[It just doesn't work when you're in a Kill-or-be-Killed world.]





	1. Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I got to tell you honestly, having a group ACT with us (whether they want to or not) is really stupid."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll be too long if I focus in all of the pairings. I'm just gonna focus on Undyne and Papyrus, but that also makes things very very long... :T
> 
> Sets after POV of Papyrus story and in the middle ending of Undyne's POV. (Before the King and Queen Ending I mean.)

**[POV PAPYRUS]**

 

"Why are we all here?" Papyrus crossed his arms with an annoyed expression. Five in a group - They were inside the laboratory, specifically in Alphys' headquarters. It has anime posters, figurines and toys of mass destruction scattered everywhere. Oh and there's a bed. Papyrus twitched, wanting to organize the filthy room. It was worse than Undyne and Sans combined.

"W-we are going to ship each other!" Alphys squeaked, her cruel demeanor gone as soon as Undyne slung her arms around the lizard's shoulder. Undyne was grinning as if she kicked the balls of a hundred monsters, "Me and Alphys decided that we meet up with friends and hook them up with each other! That way, we get to know the bastard who ruined the other and stab them to their SOUL."

"Ah... T-that sounds wonderful..." Mettaton grinned, fiddling with his hands. Sans blinked, looked around, saw him and yawned. Papyrus forgot that Alphys has Sans as a friend. He sometimes wonder why Sans even bothered coming here when this lazy oaf would prefer smoking crack or drink at the elemental's bar. Speaking about shipping, this would mean a simple date correct? Alphys debuts his initial thoughts with her next speech. "Here's the twist. You guys have to pretend you like the other while with each other."

"So the hook-up's only for a few hours and we switch pairs to see who's the best pairing. Of course, we gotta go together to see what the other group's doing so I can kill the fucker who touches my gal the wrong way!" Undyne laughed in glee. Papyrus stares at her as if she ate mushrooms and grew an extra head yet the Head of the Royal Guards finished her sentence. "We thought of this when we were watching the movies and hey! Let's find common ground and shit, but we hafta drag all you guys with us for the hell of it."

"B-but there's five of us!" Papyrus comments, looking over Sans and Mettaton. He knows this will ruin his reputation if he's caught dead with these two. Okay. Mettaton will include the possibility of a physical death oh right. He doesn't know how Grillby will react if he sees Sans with him. More importantly, how do you react when you're in love? Is it like those characters in the novels? Which one??? He was in big trouble now... Alphys looks at the three and turned silent. She opens her mouth, "We can make two pairings and the last one becomes the judge. I ship Papyrus with Sans."

"What?! I ship Sans with Mettaton!" Undyne slammed her hand to the table, cracking it slightly. Sans was staring at both girls oddly and looks for someone to come in the room and say something stupid. Papyrus moves his eyes at Sans then at Mettaton. Doesn't Sans hate Mettaton? So this mean the pairings include LOVE and love... Which one is his pairing with Sans: Love or LOVE? Unfortunately, Mettaton was the one who spoke out. "W-well! I ship myself with Papyrus! I can't bare that comedian coming near me."

"what have i gotten myself into..." Sans sighs, but he was smiling. Papyrus has an inkling this guy knows he's going to get treated with free food. That cunning bastard. Mettaton must have chosen him in fear of getting killed by all three residents. Typical. Alphys points at Papyrus, making him go wide-eyed in shock. "What's your ship, huh?!"

"Uh... Alphys/Mettaton and Undyne/Sans!" Papyrus answered quickly with his eyes looking at a poster. He hears Undyne crack her knuckles, Papyrus begins to sweat. He shouldn't have said that, but Alphys technically met Mettaton first before Undyne while Undyne and Sans always bicker a lot so that's how you ship things right? Papyrus doesn't know about the LOVE-Love mechanics on shipping but it'll all work out...

"Undyne. Don't judge his tastes, no matter how disturbing..." Alphys was staring at him suspiciously. Papyrus looks to see Sans staring at him with the do-you-want-to-kill-me-bro? expression while Mettaton had teary eyes why-you-ship-me-with-her? face. Papyrus didn't care. He wouldn't mind being the judge if he gets to see the hooligans of the these pairings. Alphys will try murdering Mettaton while Undyne tries murdering Sans. It hits two birds with one stone. He knew Undyne did this for the lolz and to help her girlfriend's sick fantasies so he couldn't complain. Besides, this sounds like it's going to break friendships. 'Nyeh heh heh~'

"flirt or pun, boss?" Sans asked him, resting his elbow on his younger brother's lap with a shit-eating grin. Papyrus looks at Sans' previous position and looked back at Sans. When did the punning sleaze bag get there? Papyrus smothered Sans with a cushion. Hopefully, the older skeleton can take his hint. Alphys, now hyped, pulled out a rectangle paper. "I already made the list of the possible pairings and the locations we can go to!"

"As long as it isn't in a motel, bedroom, fucking contest, kissing contest, flirting contest held today in the Capital for some strange reason." Papyrus comments and then he saw the lizard toss her list. "You got to be kidding with me?! You expect sex on the first date?!"

"boss is right. he still hasn't learned-mmhfhfhgh!" Papyrus covered Sans' mouth. Why does Sans have to ruin his image? Mettaton smiled and suggested with a twinkle in his eyes. "Let's all write our locations in a piece of paper and pick up random pairings written by Dr. Alphys. That way, we won't know who our pairings are and what we're supposed to expect from the shipping!" 

"Fine..." Everyone took a piece of paper and wrote on the paper. Papyrus was supposed to write his house, but that would involve the bedroom so... Papyrus taps his fingers, 'I THINK THIS WILL DO.'

* * *

**[POV UNDYNE]**

 

 

 

> Mediator:Sans - GRILLBY'S
> 
> Undyne/Alphys
> 
> Papyrus/Mettaton

 

"You have to be kidding with me..." Undyne cursed, trying her best to ACT cool with Alphys, the love of her life, in front of her when she hears the Canine Units teasing her behind her back. Why did Sans have to be the one to pick her One True Pairing?! She was supposed to be the one to pick it! She even wrote on her location to be the fucking **Amusement Park**! Alphys looks around and ate a piece of the fries.

" _You brought customers?_ " Grillby comments, cleaning a cup while Sans was sitting on the front. The judge was drinking mustard with a grin, watching both of the pairings with interest. "you could say that."

"Thank you for paying my food, darling~" Mettaton smiled as the skeleton drank a cup of coffee. It seems Papyrus bought everything for Mettaton and got the drinks for himself. Strange enough, he took all the beverage for himself without any food - Coffee, Fire whiskey and Milkshake. That looks like a horrible mix.

"No problem..." Papyrus turned silent, sipping the milkshake this time. Undyne frowned, remembering the taller skeleton to turn more shy when it comes to Love. He was a Tsundere-Kuudere. 'Good luck with that Sans.'

"S-so... You always drink fire whiskey when you're here?" Alphys smiled, trying to start a discussion. Undyne looks at Alphys' drink - coffee, and stares back at hers - fire whiskey, and declared. "It warms me from the harsh weather outside. I don't want to catch a fever when I decide to head over to your place, Alph."

"Fair point. Maybe I should let you try that cream which allows you to be heat resistant?" Alphys becomes interested and she had to look at the side with a small smile. The dark fantasies were starting to emerge again. "Sure you can if you'll apply it on me."

"I see what you did there." Alphys grinned and Undyne could have swore Sans trying not to laugh/barf when she reached forward and kissed the Royal Scientist.

 

"Next stop. The Motel!"

"Aren't they gonna do some kinky stuff first in the torture room?"

"We all know Captain Undyne has sex toys in her room so it's obviously going to be in her bedroom. It's like how we did it in our first time, honey bunch~"

"Really? I thought we had our first fuck on the snow... You know before Boss came and ask what was going on?"

"I had to go all the way to Snowdin just to see you two fucking each other! Of course I'm going to drag you back because we had a test within ten minutes, slutty mutts!"

"Papy darling... Please tell me you didn't drag them back while they fucked."

"...."

"that's my bro~"

"SANS. I HATE YOU."

"But I thought you were dragging a bag of meat."

"Doggo. They weren't moving at that time. Please don't let me remind you of that time."

 

'Fuckers.' Undyne thought as she licked the roof of the reptile's mouth and explored the taste of her girl. Holding Alphys by the back of the head, she practiced for so long to get this kissing thing right and no commentators were going to ruin this!

 

"How about the two just do it in Grillby's? This way, we all have an orgy pile!"

"Urgh. No thank you unless Papy wants to-"

"No and do you even have the parts to do this?" 

".... N-not yet." 

"Now that I think about it, how about the lab?"

 "Yeah... They should go to the lab and get kinky with the experimental sex toys and drugs from the confiscated goods."

 

"mmfhgh!" Alphys removes her tongue away from Undyne, blushing at the comments from the audience. It's as if she knows what sort of products those guys were talking about. Undyne wants to kill everyone in the room. They were interrupting their session.

"Y-you wanna talk about anime?" Alphys stuttered, looking down at her fries. Undyne bit her hamburger in one huge bite, glaring at the occupants with her glowing red eye. Everyone turned silent until... Sans played the Music box and it kept playing the same annoying tune. Papyrus had to stare at Sans with the why? face. Mettaton thinks it's nice, but she and Alphys saw it as a suggestive song. Too bad there are a lot of monsters here... Undyne wants to bash her head on the wall or she might really kill some monsters.

* * *

 

 

 

> Mediator:Undyne - DUMPS: AMUSEMENT PARK
> 
> Papyrus/Alphys
> 
> Mettaton/Sans

 

"...." Undyne feels like she got betrayed by her Second-In-Command as Papyrus held the hand of Alphys. Mettaton was looking behind him uneasily to see the death glare of the small skeleton. Undyne wants to rip her hair out and scream to the Gods for hating her. Is this what Papyrus feels every day - when something goes wrong, it gets worse? Damn it! This was her place for Alphys. Now she has to- There's a chance... All she has to do is need Papyrus' approval. Looking at Papyrus, the taller skeleton turns and sees her burning passion. Papyrus scratched the side of his skull and shrugged. 'YES~!!'

"i didn't know there was an amusement park by the dumps." Sans whistled as they stared at the rides. Truth be told, the whole area looks like it fell from the Surface with all the items intact until Papyrus comments. "UNDYNE FORCED A LOT OF MONSTERS AND RESEARCHERS TO REBUILT IT FROM SCRATCH."

"Aww~ That's cute." Mettaton sarcastically comments, earning a spear stab by the leg from the female Judge. How dare this scrap metal insult her effort?! Alphys was silent, looking over the area as if it was a ruin. Undyne stares at Sans and asked, "Shouldn't you be healing your lover, Sans?"

"He's a robot. He can handle." Sans does a shooing motion as he walked pass Mettaton and pushed the gates to see what was inside. Alphys lets go of Papyrus' hand when she saw something at a distance. Rushing inside, Undyne and Papyrus had to chase after Alphys entering deeper to the amusement park.

 

...

 

"I'm so happy that I could fuck you right now, Undyne!" Alphys was staring at the booths sections and saw all of them (that's right) filled with unknown Anime and a weird language Papyrus muttered being Japanese.

"All for the best for my girl." Undyne grinned, looking down as her girl pillage and explain the meaning of each item, place and function. It was as if they were on a tour, just Alphys and her. Papyrus was very silent, knowing his place as the third wheel. Who cares if Sans and Mettaton are fucking? She wasn't going to lose this opportunity to see her girl shine.

 

..

 

"ARE YOU SURE THIS IS SAFE?" Papyrus asked, looking at them as he control the speed of the caterpillar-like contraption Alphys calls a roller coaster. Undyne nods, fully aware that she allowed at least a hundred monsters to try this. The first five set died because of the faulty wires and programming, but it was for the greater good. Alphys clung to her arm, trying her best to make it look natural. Undyne held her arm as well, as an assurance since they were already buckled up for the ride. 

"I just want you to know-thaaa~!!!" Alphys screamed before she could finish her sentence. Both females were screaming for two entirely different reasons. Undyne was screaming in joy at the intense speed and loops the machine allowed them to go while Alphys was screaming in fear at the unknown experience and falls this contraption made them go through. When they came back to the ground, Alphys fell to the ground and hugged it. She had to kneel down and stroke her friend's back, telling her that there was more.

 

.

 

"Can you turn around or close your eyes for an hour, Paps? You're ruining the mood." Undyne ordered, staring at her Second-in-Command staring at them as they broke off their passionate kissing at the Tunnel of Love. She and Alphys knows this skeleton has night vision and Undyne was fine letting this skeleton watch. Alphys didn't. She's awfully shy when she noticed the red beady eyes from the distance.

"I'D ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE THIS." Papyrus crossed his arms, a playful smirk on his face before they enter the next area without light. Alphys blushed harder. Undyne knows Papyrus is curious so... Undyne drags Alphys down to the boat, she whispers to the yellow monster. "Let's not disappoint him." 

* * *

**[POV PAPYRUS]**

 

"HOW WAS YOUR TIME?" Papyrus asked, looking over to Sans and Mettaton's area as they finally returned to the entrance. Papyrus now knows in a general perspective how females do sex, but in a horizontal point of view. It's like any other individuals such as the kissing and the touching, but he didn't understand what happened underneath because they were on the boat hiding. Alphys is still blushing, but Undyne was grinning like crazy. Good for her.

He was about to ask in detail or at least ask them to repeat the session until his phone rang. It was Mettaton, asking for HELP against his brother. It seems Sans was playing a prank with him through space and time, good enough to cause one to grow paranoid and scared temporarily. Mettaton clung to his arm, looking at Sans beside Papyrus with his hands in his pockets whistling. "YOU DO KNOW SANS WON'T HARM YOU, RIGHT SANS?"

"uh-huh~" Sans grinned, his usual grin but it caused Mettaton to pull him away from Sans. Mettaton whispered at the side of his skull. "Your brother is a demon!"

"I know, but he won't kill you. He will only torture you until you give up like he did. Be strong, wussy." Papyrus whispered back, smirking. Looking at the side, he saw Undyne and Alphys already holding hands and talking about anime and kinks? Wait. He wasn't going to talk about that, except he doesn't get with the vibrators and the whips thing...

Moving on, the next area was Mettaton's area which is... MTT Cinema, specifically the dark roomed area where you can hear couples having sex on the side... Yeah. He should sit in front to avoid that. They were also required to return home to wear fancy clothes which reminds him.

 

...

 

"COME HERE MOTHER FUCKER!" Papyrus screamed as he swiped to hold any part of Sans' body. Even if Papyrus is flattered (or is it curiosity) that Sans wore the gift he gave him 24/7, Sans had to change clothes! Sans dodged again, this time commenting. "not gonna change, boss. you can't make me." 

"YOU CAN'T DODGE FOREVER!" Papyrus declared and used his blue attack and his bone attacks to entrap the skeleton.

 

...

 

"you have got to be kidding with me, boss. you had clothes for me with my size and yet all of your clothes is in fish babe's house. are you sure you don't masturbate saying my na-" Sans had dodged his bone attack supposed to pierce his foot as the two walked towards Undyne's house. It wasn't his fault that he forgot his clothes in his foster sister's room. Before they could open it, Papyrus heard a strange conversation.

"H-Harder!" Alphys screamed, straining her voice as she leaned on something. Papyrus wondered if this was the corset Undyne had in her closet. Sitting down on the door step, Papyrus places his face on his hand as he waits for the conversation to stop. Sans stared at him with a twitchy smile. "SANS. NO. DON'T INTERRUPT THE LADIES."

"W-Whatever you say, Alph! Fu-fuck!" Undyne cried in joy. Sans continues to stare at Papyrus, the I-want-to-see aura is seething. Papyrus was not going to let this guy enter the room. These two were obviously dressing up for the next date. He hears a thud on the wall, constant thumps starting to annoy him. What was taking them so long? 

"I-I love you s-so much~!" Alphys confessed, causing Papyrus to rethink his statement. Maybe, these two were dressing up and the lizard has a clothes fetish? Sans continues to stare at him. Oh wait. Sans can read his mind- "SANS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Hugging my cinnabun." Sans replied, hugging Papyrus' skull with the red tie on the sitting skeleton's face. Papyrus rolls his eyes and pushes his older brother off. "ONE. I AM NOT A CINNABUN. TWO, YOU WILL GET YOUR CLOTHES ALL WRINKLED IF YOU HUG THINGS AND THREE, STOP ACTING WEIRD, SANS!"

"pft. you like my hugs when we sleep together (Papyrus crosses his arms and looks away, 'I-I DO NOT!') and it seems they're done dressing up boss. let's go in." Sans grinned and opened the door. Papyrus tried to stop the skeleton but it was too late. Inside, both skeletons saw the two dressed up and on each other. Alphys wore a polka dot dress while Undyne wore a red mermaid dress. The strange news here was, their undergarments were on the floor beside Sans and the female duo were perspiring all over.

"nice~" Sans chuckled as Papyrus immediately heads over to his room and got a tuxedo before Undyne wakes up. Unfortunately, when he returned all dressed up... Undyne and Alphys are awake, standing up and fixing their clothes. The undergarments are gone from the floor and Sans is right outside again. He forgot to mention the amount of magical spears all over the place. Papyrus looks around and stares back at Undyne. One wrong word and he'll end up like Sans which for the first time, Papyrus wants to find out. "SO WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?"

"What do you think?" Undyne asked. Papyrus grits his teeth, he hates his ideas... It never gets him into trouble, "You were dressing up..."

"...." Both females stare at each other and looked back. Papyrus sighs in defeat. He hates it when he doesn't get what's happening around him. Undyne went over to his direction and gave him a pat. Sans slowly opens the door, wondering what's happening. Alphys raised her hands, announcing without fear. "I continue to ship you with Sans.' 

"Alphys why?" Undyne shook her head. Sans closed the door again, not listening. Papyrus held his hand out like the ones in the books and asked, "SHALL WE HEAD TO THE AREA?"

* * *

  

 

 

> Mediator:Mettaton - MTT CINEMA
> 
> Sans/Alphys
> 
> Papyrus/Undyne

 

"OH NO... OF ALL THE THINGS WE COULD HAVE DONE TOGETHER... IT HAD TO BE THIS." Papyrus frowned. Undyne was silent. Sans and Alphys stared at the poster of the movie they'll be watching... Undyne asked, "Six hours of Mettaton as the main character...."

"even dying sounds better than this..." Sans muttered, looking down in sorrow. Alphys nodded in agreement. It was Mettaton who tried to encourage the crowd. "It isn't so bad everyone! It's a story about Love and betrayal. Please give it a try! I'm sure you'll come to like it!" 

"Let's get on with it.." Alphys went inside the dark room. It was the first time Papyrus went to a cinema and it felt astonishingly cold.

 

...

 

"So! How did you like it everyone...?" Mettaton held his flashlights and was amazed to see Undyne and Papyrus huddled together in the front seat. Papyrus was fast asleep (The movie had a happy ending with the couple going all kissie-mushy.) Of course, Papyrus is going to fall asleep. Mettaton expected this. What he didn't expect is to see Undyne resting her head on Papyrus' shoulder, also asleep. It seems both of these individuals want an action pact movie.

"Maybe the other side won't be so bad..." Mettaton looks over to see Alphys and Sans at the backseat. Walking there, the robot saw Alphys using her phone not bothering the credits. This was also expected. Having the Royal Scientist as your body's 'creator,' Alphys knows every movie, song and play he made. Sans was huddled in his jacket, asleep as well. Mettaton didn't want to admit it, but Sans is actually cute if he doesn't open his mouth and sleeping. 

* * *

**[POV UNDYNE]**

 

 

 

> Mediator:Alphys - Ball
> 
> Papyrus/sans
> 
> Undyne/Mettaton

 

"I didn't see this coming..." Mettaton has a bead of sweat falling down his synthetic skin. Undyne was internally cursing to the Gods. Of all the people she had to dance with, it had to be Mettaton!! And she has to pretend she likes him in front of everyone.

"Neither did I, scrap-Mettaton." Undyne forces a grin. Her scales are starting to feel itchy with the amount of possibilities she has to ACT from here all the way to the night. She wondered where Papyrus is going to take them. Is Papyrus going to lead them to the Echo Garden??? That was an awesome place to sleep (as well as fuck) but she'll be with Sans while Alphys is with Mettaton. No. No way. Sans should turn to dust if he makes a move on her.

"WE ARE NOT DANCING." Papyrus crossed his arms, annoyed at his brother's suggestion. Sans looks around and frowns, "why boss, you got two left feet?'

"I-IT'S NOT THAT." Undyne knows Papyrus can dance, but the taller skeleton must be thinking of the height difference between the two. Papyrus has never dance with anyone as small as Sans before. Fuhuhuhu. She and Alphys should have dressed Sans up in a gown when they had the chance. She looks at the side, seeing Alphys holding her cellphone texting. She must be updating her status again. Undyne turns to stare at Mettaton. "Let's eat!" 

"O-oh sure!" Mettaton gave a smile and yelped when she dragged him to the food portion.

 

...

 

"Eat! Now!" Undyne ordered, shoving food into the robot's mouth forcibly. Mettaton tries to hold back a whimper, staring at the plate of unusual food types in front of them. This is the Love Mettaton deserves! Undyne paused and stared at Papyrus and Sans area, they were having a normal conversation as if they're in the house. You know if Papyrus was in a good mood and Sans wants to talk to his brother without triggering a FIGHT? That was rare. She turns to stare at Alphys who looked greatly disappointed. She must be thinking Papyrus and Sans were going to flirt or do brotherly things. 'Sorry to disappoint you girl but Papyrus isn't touchy-feely.'

 

*DING! *

 

All four of them stared at their phone. Mettaton feels like he's going to die while Undyne wanted to ask why Alphys wanted this?! Sans also begins to sweat more as Papyrus' aura turned dark. The message states the following: **DANCE WITH EACH OTHER. :)**

 

*DING! *

 

 **CAN I ESCAPE?** Undyne reads Papyrus' message sent to her. Undyne typed **NO** and hoped Papyrus wouldn't jump out of the windows. They were five floors below the ground and she wasn't going to risk watching the skeleton with bone fractures. Since they're skeletons, you could see the fractures from the exterior view. Standing up, Undyne glared at Mettaton. "Are you ready for the Dance of Death, punk?!"

"Save me Kami-sama." Mettaton prayed and Undyne knew this meant the robot was praying to the Gods (Kami-sama means God in Japanese). Papyrus also stood up and offered his hand to a flustered skeleton. Oh. Is Papyrus going to do the waltz to his own brother? The waltz is the most basic dance taught in all of the cadets from **The Academy**. Undyne glanced at her grinning girlfriend. 'Congratulations Alphys. You have done your fair share of research.'

* * *

 

 

 

> Mediator: Papyrus - Underfall Cave
> 
> Mettaton/Alphys
> 
> Undyne/Sans

 

"..." The whole group was silently trudging to the last destination. Alphys was texting something on her phone, Mettaton was rubbing his injuries (the Dance of Death involves a lot of death defying stunts), Sans was looking around with his hands on his pockets, Papyrus was leading the group in a gentle stride and she was behind all of them as the Guard.

"It's official. Sans and Papyrus is my One True Pairing." Alphys comments, but Sans and Undyne rejects it at the same time. "not gonna happen!" "As if I'd let those two pair up!"

"But Undyne! Look at their chemistry." Alphys slowed down to offer her a glimpse of the previous actions within the Ball. First pictures were a casual conversation between the two. Not that exciting. Then, Undyne stares at the rest with a poker face. Some guests were flirting with Sans and then it looks animated as the picture changed with Papyrus in between with an annoyed look, threatening the monsters. Later, the picture moves to Papyrus glaring down at a smiling Sans. Undyne looks back at Alphys with a smile, "That's the usual stuff Papyrus has to do in the Royal Guard meetings when Sans around. Threaten, drag and hold Sans close maneuver. It works like a charm."

"That is not normal!" Mettaton fussed, looking at Undyne with his eyebrows furrowed. Undyne scratched the back of her head. "It is in the Royal Guards. If you don't want anyone touching what's yours, be fierce about it. Show them who's boss and be the alpha male/female."

"So Sans is Papyrus' thing?" It was cute for Alphys to scheme things, but pairing Papyrus with his brother isn't her thing... Yet, she'll give her a chance even if Papyrus has a morality problem because of the books he read. Undyne rubs her girlfriend's head, "Yup."

"Yesss~!" Alphys cheered but Sans was walking way ahead of them, not even wanting to be associated with them. Undyne had to run faster, trying to catch up to her 'lover.'

 

...

 

"Can you stop staring at us?" Undyne asked. Back then it was just Papyrus and Alphys was getting used to the innocent stares of the curious skeleton. Now there are two skeletons and a robot staring at them as they laid down beside each other to see the fake stars. Screw Mettaton and Sans, let them become a pair again. The mediator, Papyrus wouldn't mind because all he wanted was to look at the Echo flowers and at the fake stars.

"i can't help it when i might get to see your **afterglows**." Sans grinned, but Papyrus turned to face Sans. Papyrus asked, "HOW DO YOU GET AN AFTERGLOW?"

"...." Sans and Undyne were both silent. Alphys had her lips closed, looking to the side as it turned awkward. Mettaton went beside Papyrus and placed his arm beside the Second-in-command's shoulder. "How about I show you~?"

"let me lend you guys an **arm**. i don't want you **losing** all of them when you're done." Sans left eye glowed red. Mettaton immediately removed his arm and gave a nervous smile. Papyrus looks at both Mettaton and Sans before he bumps his brother's shoulder, "WHAT DOES AFTERGLOW HAVE TO DO WITH ARMS?"

"i'll show you on the bed, boss." Sans fell to the ground when Papyrus stood up and pushed the small skeleton down. Papyrus stomps outside the area, annoyed. "I REFUSE!"

"boss. no~" Sans was too lazy to move from his spot, watching his brother leave. Looking at the rest, Sans muttered, "boss is going to cuddle the duck next door. i can feel it in my **bones**."

"So does this mean we can have sex now?" Undyne asked Alphys. Alphys looks over to Sans and Mettaton and shook her head, "N-no! Cuddles only..."

"W-why in public?" Mettaton asked, but Sans was already standing up to check on his brother. Alphys shook her shoulders, "And why not?"

*ZING! *

"SANS! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! WHAT HAD THE FLOWER DONE TO YOU?!" Papyrus screamed right after the loud sounds of pure magic radiated outside the cave entrance. Mettaton immediately went out to check while Undyne paid no mind and pulled Alphys close to her.

...

Alphys froze for a second before relaxing her shoulders, snuggling close to her chest. Undyne and Alphys held each other in silence-Not really.

"YOU DON'T SIMPLY DESTROY ECHO FLOWERS HERE ALL BECAUSE THEY WHISPER!" Papyrus was very loud judging from his font and wrath, but they may never know what it was all about. Undyne gives a kiss on Alphys' forehead. Alphys returns the favor by kissing below her chin, at the side of her neck. Both of the stare at each other and smile.

"W-WELL! THAT WAS A SPECIAL FLOWER-! METTATON, NOT YOU TOO! IT'S JUST A FLOWER AND HE'S MY FRIEND. NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS!"

"We should help your lil' bro." Alphys giggled and Undyne had to roll her eyes.

...

'So both the skeleton and robot believes in Papyrus' imaginary friend that can go between Waterfall and Snowdin?' Undyne hugs Alphys, whining. "Five more minutes."

...

?

"Undyne~! You bitch. Wake up!" Alphys groaned when she saw Undyne slump on her head, dead tired from all the shenanigans the whole group did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more for Undyne POV since the other One-shot was more on Papyrus' POV.


	2. In Between Scenes: Lab & Waterfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take out the extraordinary parts (take two!) and I'll cut it into two parts to make it shorter looking. :D
> 
> *Undyne is pretty and faithful (or pretty faithful) no matter what realm you find her in.  
> *Papyrus has a lot of issues, but no one's telling him off about his fluffy (or flirty) side.  
> *Sans is very pissed at the fact his brother is secretive [even when he doesn't want to state his secrets to the skeleton].  
> *Alphys loves Undyne too much that she needs her alone times to do some work.  
> *Mettaton tries very hard to be flirty and nice while being mean at the same time. [It fails.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [part 1]  
> Undyne reached forward, trying to claw Alphys to come closer. "Alphys..."
> 
> No response.
> 
> "Alphys! Wake the fuck up!"
> 
> "The hell Alphys! How are you doing that?!"
> 
> "zzzZZ" Alphys threw the device the aquatic needed while asleep. Her mouth slightly opened, her hands continued to type on the computer as the lizard went to Lala land. Undyne slowly stood up after injecting herself with the antidote. Accidentally paralyzing herself with this experimental device, Undyne should've followed the sign.
> 
> "Y-your... fault... haha... dick." Alphys snoozed as she laughed at the semi-aquatic. Undyne went over to look at the female. She looks over the computer, slightly amazed. "And how are you doing this again?"
> 
> "..." Undyne shook her head. What was she thinking? Alphys must be dreaming of some retard again and not the situation at hand. Undyne looked over the document, double checking her girlfriend's work.

[Lab]

 

**Boredom**

"... WHAT?" Papyrus asked, looking at Mettaton who couldn't stop staring at him as he lay on Alphys' bed. The whole room was bigger than expected, having two-master’s bed for some strange reason and an extended room for games and other mechanical things. While Alphys was writing reports about her progress, needing to submit it to King Asgore, Undyne and Sans were playing a Fighting game. Papyrus, on the other hand, grew tired of watching and staying idle.

"A-are you bored darling~?" Mettaton asked. How long had that robot been watching him? Papyrus knows he went to the bed one hour twenty-eight minutes ago to start rolling around and sometimes, jumping on the mattress. Undyne and Sans' game was too loud for them to hear the squeaks and creaks of the bed so it was fine. Papyrus looks at Alphys who was unbothered with everything, wearing earphones as she wrote. Papyrus looks back at the robot.

"Why are you asking?" Papyrus' eye lights turned red, causing the robot the shake a bit. Mustering up his COURAGE, Mettaton knows he has one shot at this and curiosity was something common between them. Mettaton slowly went close to the bed, a bit tired from the work he did earlier, and rests his knee on the mattress. Papyrus was sitting at the far end, his legs apart and arms resting on the bed frame as he looks at the robot with interest. Seeing the invitation laid out to him, the celebrity gains renewed **determination**!

"Do you want to try something **new** darling~?" Mettaton gives a sultry smirk and watched the skeleton play with his legs (move it from side to side as it’s propped up) and slightly undoes his crimson scarf. That was not what the robot expected, blushing at the sight of the skeleton's slow motion.

"PRAY TELL." Papyrus muttered, looking down as he removes his tattered scarf. He was beginning to sweat from the heat in here. Why did Undyne suggest he come here again? Oh right, movie marathon five hours from now in Alphys' place. Finally removing his scarf, Papyrus wanted to raise an eyebrow when he saw the robot frozen in mid-air. Papyrus rolls his eyes and decides to kick his boot at the robot, catching the robot's attention but with a hurt expression. "CLOSE YOUR MOUTH AND WIPE THAT DROOL OFF. IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, GET OUT AND EAT. THERE'S NO FOOD HERE!"

"N-no wait! I'm not really hungry. I-I'm... uh.. Narcoleptic!" Mettaton made the excuse. He doesn't want the Second-in-Command to realize his ~~sexual fantasy~~ intention. Yes. He researched and did a tutorial about BDSM and torture methods to different monsters but that was only on TV. In real life, he was the one always tied up and beaten into a pulp. Since he and Papyrus are friends.... Mettaton hopes to establish a mutual friendship with benefits, benefits for both parties of course! Papyrus yawned, catching Mettaton's attention, and lies on the bed with his skull propped up. Mettaton stared at the skeleton (more like that pelvis). "ROBOTS CAN GET NARCOLEPSY?"

"Y-yes we can!" Mettaton stares at the boot thrown at him and stared at the heel tip. This was... "You wear pumps?!"

"STILETTOS. I'M GOING TO USE THAT LATER IN THE BALL." Papyrus yawns as he raised his legs up in the air horizontally before moving it back down. Mettaton smiled, having a plan in mind. "Don't you think you should try sleeping first before your mission? I'm sure you'll need **as much energy** as you can."

"I DON'T FEEL SLEEPY-?!" Papyrus was surprised when the robot reached forward and grabbed his ankle, only to find Mettaton slowly remove the other boot. Papyrus immediately backs away, suspicious why Mettaton did that instead of asking. Mettaton gave him a smile (the one showed in shows) and told him off in a motherly voice. "You shouldn't be wearing shoes when you're on the bed. Well. Since you won't be sleeping, I'll simply have to accompany you on bed!"

"A-AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING THE LAB FROM THE RECENT EXPERIMENT FAILURES?" Papyrus moves to give some room before he paused at the thought. "WHY DO YOU PLAN ON SLEEPING HERE WHEN WE HAVE ANOTHER BED ON THE OTHER SIDE?"

"That's Doctor Alphys' bed. This one is for guests~" Mettaton can't help but wink when Papyrus grew worried at his breaking of the personal bubble. He knows Undyne and Sans is within this level, being able to get hugs and lie beside the skeleton, but he might as well change that. Sitting with his knees apart, Mettaton coos, "Don't you want to try something new, Papy dear~?"

"!" Papyrus was shock at the nickname. Sitting at the pillow area with his legs slightly apart, Papyrus watched as Mettaton crawl towards him on all fours. Papyrus couldn't help but blush at the lewdness of his ally, it was... "YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!"

"At least I'm trying, hot stuff!" Mettaton hissed, reaching forward to stretch Papyrus' legs down to the bed. Papyrus, in turn, bends down to rest his forehead onto the raven. Watching the raven blush, Papyrus asked. "WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO REALLY?"

"..." Mettaton didn't move as Papyrus removes his forehead and bring his hand forward to grip the robot's chin. Tilting it, Papyrus gives a taunting smirk. "Do you want me to tinker your system so badly? You must be since you've been flaunting the added feature."

*ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! *

"boss! what did you do this time?" Sans asked, looking at the area where the loud noises were coming from. Undyne turned as well, seeing Papyrus moving Mettaton's head around as the robot froze from its spot. Papyrus looks at the two and shrugged clueless. "I HAVE NO IDEA REALLY. I THINK I BROKE HIM BECAUSE OF MY INGENUITY!"

"I don't believe you! Just come here already before you start smashing him to pieces." Undyne joked as she gave space for the skeleton to sit beside them. Papyrus stares at the unresponsive robot and decides to get out of them, heading over to watch the two play games.

**Boredom [prt 2]**

“S-sans~!” Mettaton whimpered, crying, as the skeleton didn’t even place him in hibernation mode to fix him. Why did Alphys tell this sadistic skeleton?! Papyrus was even this close to repairing him. However, Papyrus was dragged away by Undyne for some work. The two can be found in a room next to his, talking about the incoming missions.

“stop being a baby or i’ll break you right here and now.” Sans already opened his chest plate to check if his system is clear of damage. Mettaton gasped as the skeleton removed a small metal fragment from his circuits. Sans hums, bored with the task.

“do you regret saving boss now?” Sans asked and he shook his head. Sans gave a disapproving sound, twisting a sharp item and plucking it out. Sans earned himself a scream from the raven. Mettaton wished he could be untied to wipe the smirk from that bastard’s face.

“Lazy inconsiderate slut.” Mettaton hissed and screamed when Sans plucked out another. Sans didn’t stop smiling, enjoying the screams like the sadist he is.

“you weren’t screaming when boss did it. why is that?” Mettaton tugged his arms as Sans jabbed the tweezer inside his chest, removing something equally large. Mettaton struggled not to scream, not wanting to satisfy this psycho. Sans’ eye lights went off,

“ **w h a t  d i d  y o u  t w o  d o ?** ”

“J-jealous~?” Mettaton taunts turned into a cough, spitting out traces of oil and blood (or was that his magic turned liquid?) at the skeleton’s face. Sans wasn’t amused, his phalanges started crushing a component in his plate. Mettaton closed his eyes shut in pain. “tell me now.”

“N-Never!” Mettaton screamed when something vital was removed. Why does everything feel twice as painful all of the sudden? Did Sans just cut a wire towards his sensory pathway? Sans sighs, removing another metal fragment. “welp. you might as well satisfy my boredom.”

“!!!” Mettaton wormed in pain, held in place with straps of leather and metal. Even if the two had a bond, Sans doesn’t know what the two did. Papyrus won’t tell him and neither will he, not when that skeleton barged in with that woman during their break.

And **it** all began when he walked to the alleyway. Watching the Second-in-command handle those thugs, Mettaton noticed a monster pull out a gun. Because the raven wanted to protect Papyrus during one of his missions, Mettaton rushed forward and took the hit. Papyrus called him an idiot, but the robot himself doesn’t understand why he did that, but… It felt right. Papyrus isn’t going to let him die though, rushing him to the lab, only for Alphys to ignore the robot in favor of her experiments. Papyrus remains firm, bugging her until she gave him the kit.

 

_“P-papyrus~! Stop! It hurts! It hurts!” Mettaton shook, screaming and struggling to get out of the binds. Papyrus even used his blue attack on him, but it wasn’t working. Each time he tries to remove the metal fragment, the robot experiences excruciating pain yet its best to leave the robot awake or else. Papyrus doesn’t want that to happen._

**_*It hurts! It hurts so badly!*_ **

_“…” Looking at Mettaton’s blueprints, Papyrus tries to soothe Mettaton as the robot continues to cry and wail (which was reasonable, but the robot wasn’t helping him in healing the robot!). Pissed and at his limit, the skeleton placed the blueprints down and slapped the robot. “SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’M TRYING TO THINK AND YOU AREN’T HELPING! DO YOU THINK I CAN WORK WITH YOUR CRYING?!”_

_“…I-I’m sorry…” Mettaton bit his lips, fighting back the tears. Papyrus sighs and looks back at the blueprint. There was no other way. He has to do this while listening to Mettaton’s incessant cries. Wait a minute. Papyrus looks at Mettaton and went away to get something._

_“W-what’s that for?” Mettaton asked, Papyrus held a crimson cloth and wiped his tears away. Before his eyes were covered, Mettaton was sure Papyrus had those eyes. Eyes like Alphys, he was going to experiment. “P-papyrus? What’s going on?”_

_“I’m going to try another approach. I’m sure this will work this time.” Papyrus sounded awfully confident. Mettaton had to give a retort on that. “A-are you sure about t-this-?!”_

_*CLICK *_

_“I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK! YOU DIDN’T FEEL ANYTHING, DID YOU? WELL OF COURSE YOU DID, A SLIGHT STING BUT THAT’S FINE!” Papyrus grinned as he looked down at the flustered robot. Tilting his skull, Papyrus frowned, “WHAT’S WRONG?”_

_“Y-you…” Mettaton stuttered. Papyrus looks down to see the heart-shaped SOUL beating fast. Papyrus waits, holding the tweezer, for the robot to respond. “YES?”_

_“C-Can you kissmeonthelipsnexttime!” Mettaton said non-stop. Papyrus stared at the robot and asked. “AND WHY SHOULD I?”_

_“…Uhmm… Because it’s more effective when it’s on the lips!” Mettaton is now praying to God that Papyrus will fall for that. Papyrus can be heard sighing. Mettaton tensed up when he felt the cold metal touch his motherboard, only to get preoccupied with his mouth. “!!!”_

_“Hm. Unlike Undyne’s salty taste, your magic tastes sweet and sour. What did you eat today?” Papyrus said in a curious voice. Mettaton’s heart can’t stop beating fast, but the raven had to calm himself or Papyrus would think he’s inducing a heart attack. Mettaton muttered, “My own branded MTT steak-?!”_

_“YOU’RE RIGHT.” Papyrus removes another as he leans to give a kiss. Looking down at the robot, Papyrus couldn’t help but smile. “ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS?”_

_“Hurry up and continue!” Mettaton doesn’t understand why but Papyrus’ energy is… distinct and his hands soothing the area with a faint blue magic felt too odd. Papyrus’ magic… It tastes spicy with a hint of sweet. It stings the mouth, but very addicting. Papyrus obliged, wanting to finish this as well. God. Now he knows how Papyrus makes his victims into masochists._

***BZZZT! ***

“Gah-!” Mettaton howled as Sans plucked a long needle. Sans stared at it before tossing the tweezer. Mettaton’ eyes turned narrow when Sans was reading his data log. F-fuck! Did he pass out due to the pain?! Sans went close to caress- “A-ah~!”

“listen here, prick. If you let boss do that to you one more time…” Sans punctured a chip, earning another scream. “i’ll personally teach you the difference of **pain and pleasure**.”

* * *

 [Waterfall]

**Camping**

"Hello everyone~ I got your food." Mettaton cheered as he found them. Alphys and Undyne were cuddling with a blanket around them and a fire in front of them. On the other side, Papyrus and Sans were building a snowman. Alphys was asleep in Undyne's arms as the redhead tries to stay awake while resting her chin on the lizard's head. Mettaton wanted to visit them after hearing the four accepted a mission in deciphering the disappearances somewhere within Waterfall. Majority of the residents have complained about this, which the King and the nobles didn’t care until important diplomats towards the Wastelands vanished with huge sums of gold in the same area.

“...I feel left out here.” Mettaton pouted, watching his allies’ converse in soft whispers. Since Waterfall is close to Snowdin, there are several parts of the region that hits negative degrees. The robot sighs, going to the tent to place the rations for the next two nights of monitoring. Coming out, no one still noticed his presence. Papyrus was too busy making his dream self (abs and all) while Sans simply used mustard to write his name on the snow.

“SIGH” Mettaton exclaimed and the redhead snapped at him with her glowing red eye.

"What do you want fucker?" Undyne muttered, glaring at the monster as she clung onto the lizard for warmth. Mettaton backed off, scared in angering the female head.

“hey. Save your energy for something better.” Alphys mumbled which caused Undyne to smile. Undyne nudged her chin on the lizard’s head, telling her sleepy friend. "So it is true. The fatter you are, the more likely you'll retain the heat in your body."

"I hate you so much right now." Alphys whispered which Undyne responds with a kiss on the forehead. On the other side, Papyrus stops to look at his work with his hands on his hips.

"Sans! What do you think of my work-?" Papyrus stares at Sans' sculpture, staring at it for another couple of minutes. Sans rests his head on his brother's silky pants, tired and cold from the outdoors. "cool, but unrealistic. i can't **flesh** the image when skeletons don't have skin..."

"W-well what about yours-?! (Stared at the snow on the ground with the word Sans) You-You miserable pile of snow!" Papyrus sounds like he was pouting, but skeletons don't have lips. Sans looks up, his bored frown turned into a concerned apologetic type. "o-oh come on boss. why should i try when i know i can't beat you? you're too terrific in snowman making for me."

"..." Papyrus blinks at Sans before giving a smirk. "Fair point! I have already given you a disadvantage right from the very start. Thus, it affected your performance... As expected of me!"

"yeah... whatever." Sans rests, his head back on Papyrus' pants, sleepy from the workout from a while ago. Mettaton has a sweat drop, thinking the tall skeleton is a sucker for compliments. Alphys curled closer to Undyne, eyes closed and sleepy.

“You may leave now.” Alphys ordered the robot, giving a peck on Undyne’s neck. Undyne doesn’t stir, really tired from the recent work they did few hours ago. The two Royal Guard officers have been going at it non-stop. Mission after mission to finish the quotas and make sure the ones with the closest deadline marks are the first in their list. It was stupid really.

“how are you not sleepy boss?” Sans yawned, already in the tent and wrapped in his blanket. Papyrus turns to face the skeleton and shrugged, “I haven't used all of my magic yet.”

“you wanna use it for me here~?” Sans grinned and Papyrus shook his head, “I’m not going to be your heater Sans. Go to sleep.”

“that’s not what i meant” Sans doesn’t sound amused now, more like irritated. Alphys understood what Sans was talking about, laughing softly at the futility. Undyne’ hug tightens, murmuring something underneath her ear. She wondered why she heard her name?

Alphys nearly yelped, feeling a cold hand wander down to her- Papyrus crossed his arms, tsking. “Then what is it? Spit it out and tell me. I dislike idle talk.”

“you and me on the bed ("…" Papyrus continues to blankly stare at him. Sans' head dropped down in despair) you’re dense, you know that?” Sans sighs. Alphys raised her tail and raised an eyebrow on what she found. Even in this hour, Undyne was still thinking about her. How sweet, not like she was going to tell the female aquatic. Alphys turns to give a breathy kiss.

“Define dense? I'm simply testing if you really want me.” Papyrus sounded distracted. God. He must be staring at them again. Alphys blushed when Undyne’s other hand (the other was down there) reached for her breast and squeezed it. Alphys gave a light squeak. "U-undyne?!"

“…it’s not nice to peek boss.” Sans warned, also staring at the two. Papyrus scratched his skull, looking away flustered. “I am not peeking! I am staring at Alphys’ attempt to get out of Undyne’s grasp since … Undyne will definitely rape her while sleeping…”

“ **W-what?!** ” Both scientists shouted out, but Papyrus didn’t see any problem with that. Watching the lizard struggle, Papyrus gave a smirk that caused Alphys to curse at him. “Struggling is futile. Undyne has a firm grip when it comes to grappling her enemies and allies. If you want to wake her up, decrease her HP but be careful since we have a mission two hours from now.”

“Fucking Papyrus-!” Alphys tries to kick her way out of the position, only to be pinned down and kissed square on the lips. But even when she’s in a precarious situation, why is she liking this?! Alphys wanted to bash her head on the floor, but Undyne’s hand prevented her.

“you’re cruel boss.” Sans yawned, looking at the two females. Papyrus looks at Sans. “Mission over everything, let the scientist get raped and Undyne will worry about that later. Who knows? Maybe Alphys likes being sub, which is good as Undyne’s frustration level is increasing nowadays. That’s why she keeps using the torture devices my colleagues gave me.”

“…is a vibrator one of them?” Sans didn’t want to ask, but he recalls his talk with the woman about Papyrus’ unusual gifts in the past… Papyrus nodded, curious at his brother’s knowledge. “Yes? Hmm… It sounds reasonable that you would know, being an ex-scientist…”

“when i wake up, i’m gonna hug ya to death.” Sans flopped to the snow, too tired to go to his brother.

“H-hey! S-some help here~!” Alphys gasped when she felt soft pinches to her sensitive part (down there) as she was held at spear point. No seriously, there are spears above her and some had already pinned her clothes in place. Alphys tried to move, but Undyne made it so hard.

“but do you help her during her heat?” Sans murmured, Papyrus shakes his head. “No. Undyne abstains during her first sets until Alphys accepted her request.”

“man that sucks balls.” Sans and Papyrus ignored the rape/non-rape attempt (Alphys might be consenting to this) few feet away from them. Alphys gasped and whined as Undyne went down to take a taste, lifting the lizard’s legs for greater access. Hearing the Zs of his brother, Papyrus leaned on the tree. He wished he could block the sound of Alphys’ screaming, eyes closed as he waited for the time to tick down.

 

**Fighting**

“Do you have to watch?” Undyne asked, scratching her head as Sans and Alphys sat beside each other holding potato crisps. Alphys nodded, holding a thumbs-up. “Yes! You better not lose to your brother Undyne!”

“Pft! As if I’d lose to him.” Undyne rolls her eye while Papyrus looks around to check the terrain. They were going to fight in Waterfall. Waterfall which a lot of monsters exclaim Undyne has mastered. Undyne believed she did, but Papyrus could prove otherwise. She has to win this since everything is in her favor. To be the safe side, she trained in advance. 'It’s now or never.'

“…Ready?” Papyrus asked, holding a femur and twirling it like a baton. “I’m not. Still thinking about that statistic report I have to submit tomorrow.”

“think about that later!” Alphys threw a potato chip at the skeleton. “The winner gets to have us do their paperwork.”

“really?” Sans got gutted in the ribs by the Royal Scientist, the two began bickering about the agreement. Papyrus and Undyne perked at the idea of having someone do their paperwork, suddenly entering into Battle.

"Prepare to get your ass kicked." Undyne scoffed but Papyrus grinned. "We'll see about that."

With the entire field suddenly turned breezy, the celebrity emerged from the Echo garden. Mettaton came in, happily cheering as he held a bag of food. “I have popco-”

*DING! *

Undyne jumped up as an array of crimson bones shot up from the ground, backflipping to land on one of the stalagtites. Summoning her spears, she homed it at the skeleton and hopped close enough for the kill. Papyrus blocked each and every one of them before enchanting Undyne's SOUL into Blue (since he's green). Papyrus declared, crimson eyes glowed with a hint of blue. "I'd like you to know that you're blue now!"

"You don't need to state the obvious!" Undyne sarcastically replied as one vertical attack was able to injure her. Fortunately, Undyne was able to dodge most of the attacks after the surprise attack. Rolling with her injured arm, she summoned out spears to counter the bone attacks and created an array of yellow attacks in all four sides that would change in direction before the impact itself. Undyne stood up and with her spear, threw it at the skeleton.

"A freaking distraction?!" Papyrus cursed, realizing her plan. He was able to dodge the fatal hit, but he blocked the two yellow attacks with his arms. Papyrus must be surprised to see an additional paralysis status, but the skeleton shrugged it off by continuously producing complex yet patterned blue, red, orange and white bone attacks. Papyrus whistles, preparing for something under his crimson scarf. "Nearly had me there."

"How about this one?" Undyne stabbed the ground, creating an array of spears to burst out from the ground and the bridge began to break apart or disintegrate (even if it uses a lot of JUSTICE in her). She thought she had things covered but the skeleton simply smirked. Papyrus' eye lights glowed red, creating another platform using bones and tried to rejuvenate his arms from the status. Undyne went forward and started thrusting and diagonally attacking the skeleton. Well. So good for-!? Undyne felt a sting down her legs. "What the hell?!"

"Papyrus!" Undyne took a step back, dodging the sudden influx of bone attacks until Papyrus went forward to attack her with a sword. Parrying the skeleton's attacks while avoiding the multi-colored bone platform, Undyne fussed. "You piece of shit!  Why does your bones remind me of that hellish multi-colored tile game?! Are you trying to tell me to dance?!"

"It's either this or falling. And everyone knows how much you love patterns~" Papyrus snickered and ducked just in time before Undyne stabbed him in the air yet the aquatic monster was able to move to the side as her subordinate sliced diagonally at her. Undyne looked down, eyes trained at the color. If she lands on blue, she has to stop moving. If she lands on orange, she has to keep moving. White is okay, that's her platform or she could die, but red will hurt her no matter what. Undyne moves her head up in time to avoid a neck stab, but her right cheek got a tiny cut wound. Undyne struggles to get out of the trap by pushing the skeleton off her case.

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...Do they always destroy the entire area?" Mettaton bit his cheek, watching the two fight each other to the death. Jumping from bridge to bridge, Undyne had to stumble within bone platforms at times because of the skeleton's tenacity of continuously use magic.

"Yes." Alphys ate popcorn. Sans was also eating popcorn, watching the duo interact viciously in the battlefield. Sans muttered, "they're playing."

"They're siblings." Alphys explained, fixing her glasses as she watched on. “And I guess they want an all-out magic fight?”

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Can you even multi-task?" Papyrus continues to attack. His technique was very unique, especially when they keep destroying the bridges. One wrong step means death or serious injury (the spikes below) so Undyne has no choice but to dance in the bone formation.

"You're just imagining things!" Undyne was glad she can fight without staring at her enemy, looking down at the pattern change. It's too slow. Papyrus must think memory games are too hard for her which was kind...kinda merciful! Undyne was able to summon out her spears and surrounded the skeleton in all four sides. Papyrus' eye sockets turned blank before he smirked.

"I learned it from you." Papyrus comments and the entire platform vanished from thin air. Avoiding the attacks, Undyne and Papyrus fell, also not having enough bridges or platforms to land on. As they fell, Undyne saw on the corner of her eye gigantic entities from the shadows. It’s a couple of them, opening their shining mouths with crimson eyes staring at her.

*ZNNNGG! *

"!!!" Alphys stood up, surprised at the dust cloud below. Sans didn't move, chewing his popcorn with chocolate. When the smoke dissipated, the two were still alive with a flat (no spike) floor.

"DAMN IT!" Papyrus cursed as he lay on the ground, heavily injured from the spear strokes and stabs. Yellow and blue spears stabbed the skeleton in place. However, on the other side, Undyne is standing in her personal prison. An array of jagged bone attacks point at her, few inches before impacting her skin. What’s more is that blue attacks had gone right through the red head's body (both horizontally and vertically) while the crimson bones had dyed the floor red in case of possible movement. Undyne simply glared at the skeleton, “Fuck you Papyrus!”

“it’s a tie~” Alphys cheered, sitting back down since there won’t be an additional paper load in the monster’s list. On the side not far from the two, Sans, Alphys and Mettaton saw a white fluffy dog gnawing on bones beside the two stalemates. Papyrus also noticed it, getting annoyed. "HEY! LET GO OF MY SPECIAL ATTACK YOU MUTT!"

 

**Instruments**

“READY?” Papyrus asked, watching Undyne sit down on the hidden but restored piano.

“Wait for a sec.” Undyne lifts the fall board, testing the pedals and keyboard if it works. It’s been so long since they played and the two… They simply wanted to unwind. In a world of Kill-or-be-killed, music and peace was a luxury for the rich. Undyne is sure as hell they weren’t rich, but they might as well have something else. Placing the music sheet, she paused.

“What the-?” Undyne looks over the music sheet, reading it with a raised eyebrow. “I thought we were going to play **Beethoven’s Violin Sonata number 4 and 5** only, not some unknown sheet called **Romance for cello and piano by Ernst Mielck**? Seriously, what type of name is that?”

“YES... THAT’S THE SAME THING YOU SAID WITH BEETHOVEN.” Papyrus looks down at his two instruments, staring at the cello and the violin. Undyne raised her hands out in annoyance, “Don’t you dare back sass the musical genius or I’ll cut your neck off!”

“THEN LET’S PLAY THIS PIECE FIRST BEFORE YOU’RE FAVORITE.” Papyrus removes his gloves and tossed it on the table not far from here. Grabbing the cello, Papyrus went to sit down on the piano bench beside her but with his back facing the piano. The skeleton rested the cello against his chest, holding it in between his legs somewhat with the endpin lengthened to stab the ground. Undyne can only comment that the cello is a big ass violin!

“You think Alphys likes music?” Undyne asked, strumming the keys based on a memory she had when the two were younger. They were so young and haughty, ready to take on the world… Since she came here last month all alone, the strings doesn’t need to be tuned yet.

“SHE’D PROBABLY PREFER ANIME MUSIC WHICH IS A MIX OF VARIOUS FORMS OF MUSIC… IF I RECALL FROM SANS.” Papyrus looks down, holding his bow and striking his strings to test the waters. Adjusting the pegs, Papyrus looks up to see his superior staring. “SOMETHING WRONG?”

“A-uh.. Nothing…” Undyne knows the skeleton went over to the Royal Libraries, black markets and the dump to use that. She won’t admit it but she liked the moments of silence in the night where it’s just the two of them playing their instruments. This skeleton has greater memory when it comes to memorizing patterns, not even needing a copy before the performance. Papyrus smirked, “I DEFINITELY THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE WORN SOMETHING OTHER THAN OUR ROYAL GUARD OUTFIT. HOW ABOUT THE DRESS THAT SUITOR OF YOURS GAVE YOU?”

“Pft. No way! This is no big deal. This isn’t a performance for a crowd.” Undyne dusted the keyboard, grumbling but she could hear the skeleton laugh. Papyrus hums, donned in a red turtleneck with his sleeves slightly rolled up for the session. Papyrus looks up, staring at the gem-littered ceiling. “WOULDN’T WANT SHYREN TO GET OUT OF BUSINESS, DO WE?”

“Hn.” Undyne and Papyrus both got ready, starting at the same time but with the cello being louder. Undyne moves her fingers were it need be, drowning in the notes of the music. It’s very tranquil for a romance piece, a hint of sadness in need of a voice but joy lingers in various corners. Undyne turns her head a bit, noticing the skeleton closed his eyes as he played.

“…” Undyne doesn’t know what to say in these sessions. Let the music tell him what she wants to say. Seeing hints of red on those phalanges, Papyrus avoided scraping the strings and enhanced his grip, his bow moving slowly to grind on the string in tune to the song.

“…” Undyne looks back, realizing her moment to shine is coming soon, moving he sheets with her magic to continue playing the piece. This time, Undyne was the star of the show, having the skeleton give way. In a way, this made them remember their place in life. Life’s filled with ups and downs, their world might as well crash down in flames but they knew…

**They have each other.**

This so-called leader and subordinate relationship everyone discussed behind their backs, Undyne didn’t think this was the most concrete description of her friendship with this numb skull. She knows Papyrus might be forced to kill her someday, but Papyrus knows Undyne’s orders might be the end of him as well. They were dancing on a thin ice, waiting for a change in orders and circumstances. Both officers don’t know how long they’ll keep playing, but it was something they weren’t willing to stop and find out.

...

Even if they played a few minutes, the silence after the final note makes the event feel like an eternity. It felt nice as the two listened to the ethereal sound. Something they listened in the dead of nights amidst the killings and rain. Papyrus placed his cello away, bringing his violin forward and stood up. Turning around to stare down at the redhead, Papyrus positioned himself, resting the violin on his left collar bone and his jaw.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK?” Papyrus was looking down at her condescending or was that respect. Undyne looks back down, grumbling. “Let’s get to the real thing.”

“HMM~” Papyrus got ready with his bow. Undyne flexed her fingers before the ACT. Don’t get her wrong. She admits to not being a genius with the piano, unlike Papyrus uncanny skill to pick up musical and linguistic skills.

_It all began when she was younger when her mother taught her how to read music sheets and know which note was which. Listening to childish songs, her father planned her future to be a singer in some place like her mother, but… They fucking died and left her alone. When she got adopted by Mr. Gerson, Undyne accompanied him to the Royal Castle for important meetings. However, when she decided to scurry around, she caught sight of the gigantic piano._

Halting temporarily, Undyne listens to her subordinate’s piece with a drop of admiration.

_Playing a few notes, she came face to face with the King of the Underground playing the grand piano in the castle. The incident led her to keep coming back there to see the King play various intricate pieces. All of the pieces sounded sorrowful unlike the Boss monster’s indignant exterior. Sometimes, she sees other monsters play the instrument but it had no impact unlike the King’s piece. Undyne felt the urge to play it so one day, she went to the piano._

Undyne closed her eyes, leaning her head as she traced the keys. As light as a feather, the sounds from their performance echoed within the caves. But since it’s nighttime and the caves filled with twists and turns, no one except the locals would know any better.

_“Do you wish to learn?” King Asgore asked, having the redhead turn around and come face-to-face with the black king. Undyne nodded and watched the King sit down beside her. His hands lingering above hers, Undyne knew that one lesson made her continue learning the instrument feverishly. She knows King Asgore might not remember this, but that one lesson meant a lot in her hobby list. Maybe, if the King’s short of entertainers, Undyne could play him the first piece he showed to her. Papyrus might be there to watch though, that scuttlebutt!_

***CLAP CLAP CLAP! ***

“!!!” Breaking from their trance, both individuals looked away from their instruments at the source of the sound. Undyne closed the fall board while Papyrus laid the violin on the piano; both royal guards fixed themselves before the three monsters entering their sanctuary.

“Were you worried?” Undyne asked, turning around to face the guests with her legs crossed.

“Not really.” Alphys answered, entering with Sans as the skeleton scanned the area. Mettaton also came in to praise the interrupted duo. “Splendid piece you two, but can I ask where you-?”

“Don’t be late tomorrow for the meeting.” Undyne warned Papyrus as the skeleton already started walking to the exit. Sans frowned, looking at the violin before following his brother.

“I WON’T. GOOD NIGHT.” Papyrus bid farewell, striding out as his brother caught up with him.


	3. In Between Scenes: Hotel & Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and Papyrus moment, twisted.  
> Papyrus and Alphys training moments.
> 
> *More Undyne and Papyrus time!
> 
> And the surprisingly calm relationship between Undyne and Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [part 2]  
> "Do you think we'll be able to travel through different dimensions someday?" Alphys asked, resting her back on the flower patch. Undyne looks up at her, also lying on the flower patch. The two were taking a break, hanging out in the dumps. The two females lied in opposite directions, drinking up the silence.
> 
> "Knowing you, we'll be able to do that." Undyne reached forward, grabbing onto Alphys' hand.
> 
> "Thanks..." Alphys murmured, eyes closed as she entwined her hand with the female aquatic. She knows Undyne is tired as hell. If she wants, the Royal Scientist can dust the Royal Guard and never have to worry about the repercussions. Undyne has always lowered her guard on her, trusting her wholly as if they're already SOUL bonded.
> 
>  
> 
> ***Which they haven't.**
> 
>  
> 
> "No prob." Undyne yawns, eyes also closed. Alphys looks up, staring into the darkness. The sound of water gushing out from tiny holes soothes her nerves. The reptile remembers Undyne's proposal as clear as the mistakes in the past. She rejected it. She rejected it because she knows she doesn't deserve it. Why was Undyne doing this when they were clearly living in a kill-or-be-killed world? Both of them have a dangerous job. If one of them dies, the other won't be able to move on. Adaptation was instrumental to survive in this world.
> 
>  
> 
> **[FIGHT] ACT ITEM MERCY**
> 
>  
> 
> "I'm serious though..." Alphys comments and Undyne doesn't reply, already drifting to sleep. Alphys looks over her choices. It's been so long since she dusted anyone and Undyne was an easy EXP with her vulnerable state.
> 
>  
> 
> **FIGHT ACT ITEM [MERCY]**
> 
>  
> 
> Alphys was unable to enact her deed. She swore this was for future survival, keeping Undyne alive... Then why does her SOUL feel warm just by being beside her? Alphys' grip tightens on the hand, mumbling.
> 
>  
> 
> _"I...I think I love **love** you."_
> 
>  
> 
> Alphys blushed at her unheard confession.

[Hotel]

 

**Consent between siblings**

“w-what the fuck?!” Sans asked, eye lights shifted into the size of pinpricks when he woke up on the bed tied up, incapacitated and even blindfolded. Struggling to get free, Sans has no idea what he did to deserve this. All he knows is that he accepted a mission with Papyrus as decoy to assassinate a vigilante group leader sometime later.

“CALM DOWN SANS.. WE STILL HAVE HALF AN HOUR FOR THIS.” Sans turns to the direction, sensing Papyrus emerge from the other room. Half an hour for what? Did he accept something dumb again while he's drunk? Damn it. Sans sweats, knowing Papyrus won't allow him to back down now, even if it was an accident. “h-hey boss? what’s the big idea tying me up here?”

"WHY ARE YOU SO FORGETFUL? DON'T YOU REMEMBER YOU INSISTED TO BE THE GUINEA PIG FOR THIS EXPERIMENT?" Papyrus breaths out in exasperation. Sans became even more confused, wondering what this was about. Sans asked, hoping to make things clearer. "no clue. tell me what i did boss please? i think i got in this with booze in my system."

"THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE DRINKING SO MUCH! ("i can do whatever i want." Sans rolled his eyes, even if the skeleton can't see it.) VERY WELL. THIS IS FOR A MISSION AND I NEED... PRACTICE BEFORE THE MAIN EVENT. UNDYNE WON'T HELP ME AND I PLAN ON ASKING METTATON, BUT YOU WILLINGLY VOLUNTEERED TO BE MY PARTNER AND ASSISTANT SO HERE YOU ARE TIED UP ON THE BED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?" Papyrus explained, but Sans shook his head. He knows Papyrus is the type to practice and Undyne’s busy making out with Alphys. Mettaton? Uh... No? Sans can sense Papyrus hovering above him. The older skeleton can also sense the apprehension of the taller skeleton, joking. "what's thrombi-ng you?"

"IF YOU WANT ME TO STOP, I'LL STOP. HOWEVER, I NEED YOUR COMMENTS IN REGARDS TO MY ACTIONS." Papyrus whispered close to his skull, causing Sans to blush when the small skeleton felt hands lift his clothes- Wait what? Sans gasped, shocked at the revelation.

"why am i in a dress?!" Sans can feel Papyrus lift the dress to a point where he can feel his knees. He thought this was about a secret assassination attempt, not intelligence gathering. Sans moaned when he felt hands touch down his pelvic region, caressing it with utmost care yet firmness. Struggling to get away, Sans let out a strangled cry at how wrong this felt. Papyrus muttered, "NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE TOUCHED YOU THIS WAY... I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW TO PRODUCE FEMALE GENITALIA."

"b-boss~!!" Sans yelped and grits his teeth as warm hands rubbed against his rib cage, gliding down areas younger siblings should not touch and massage parts that causes his spine to shiver in pleasure. Papyrus leaned down to lick his brother's clavicle, specifically the visible scars and watched Sans with a pained expression. Papyrus asked again. "IS THAT YOUR STOP WORD?"

"i-ah. n-nah. mmh good." Sans groaned when he felt Papyrus explore and fondle his lower region with his phalanges again. Why Papyrus wasn't wearing gloves wasn't part of Sans concern, he was more worried on the fact he remembers the damned agreement.

"FOR THE NEXT STEP, I NEED YOU TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH." Papyrus' bluntness said as much. While drunk, Sans recalled Papyrus asking Mettaton outside their house about practicing his role for the sex scene. He's a freaking idiot. Sans opened his mouth, panting as the careful touches linger towards the right spots. Captured in a kiss, Sans could already taste his brother's magic. Papyrus' magic was sweet and spicy, a great contrast with the alcohol in his system. His brother's magic was also warm and bright compared to his cold and dim magic. But then, the taller skeleton disconnects the connection, a trail of magic connecting them. Papyrus cuts it with his bare hand in a scissor motion, wide eyes staring at covered eyes.

"D-DAMN IT SANS! I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO RESPOND!" Papyrus was panting. Sans must've drained and absorbed his brother's magic during the process, listening to his brother's heavy breath. Sans grinned, amused at his brother’s reaction. How _cute_. "second time's a charm."

"WASN'T IT THE THIRD?" Papyrus must be frowning, but Sans didn't mind as he licked his brother's magic residue on the roof of his mouth. Papyrus tends to be a dominating kisser which is ideal for the douche bags here. Unfortunately, for the skeleton, he’s had more experience. Sans receives his second kiss, not without the fondling of his SOUL.

"b-boss-!" Sans' voice was muffled as Papyrus continues to explore and identify from memory the weak points of a female/male monster. Their spots are usually in the same places except for the genital region and the species, but Papyrus was still unsure if he could do this. As he gave Sans a barrage of sexual attacks even to the point of harming the skeleton, Papyrus twitched when he felt something wet on his knee. Looking down, Papyrus forgot his exploration caused his knee to rest on his brother's pelvis area and below it. He looks at the smaller skeleton, making sure the black and red dress is clean by lifting it beyond the stomach.

“SO YOU DO KNOW HOW TO CREATE A PUSSY. THIS WILL DO FINE FOR THE NEXT EXPERIMENT.” Papyrus grinds again, hearing Sans moan disturbingly sultry for the skeleton’s taste. Papyrus tsked, hand moving down to the garter of his brother's basketball shorts. “LET’S HEAD TO THE NEXT TASK- YOU’RE...”

"…ALREADY DRIPPING." Papyrus slowly removes the garment, the red magic giving shape to the pelvic region. Sans was panting, struggling to dissolve his magic. Papyrus traced the red magic below, curious. “HOW DO I EAT OUT OF A FEMALE AGAIN? I SUPPOSE I’M FORTUNATE I WATCHED UNDYNE AND ALPHYS DO THIS LAST TIME."

"b-boss...p-please...stop talking and move." Sans begged, but Papyrus looks at his phalanges before looked back at the soft squishy mound. "NOT YET. WE’RE STILL AT THE STAGE OF FOREPLAY. NEXT STEP WOULD BE PENETRATION. GET READY."

"w-wait paaa~! p-paaa-pappp-aa~!" Sans can't form incoherent words when he felt something enter his opening. Jabbing and biting in ways borderline of pleasure and pain, Sans opted to clamp his legs and bring the object closer. Sans threw his head back, needing his brother's tongue to enter deeper yet the feeling was short-lived when Papyrus removed his tongue and replace it with his dry sharp phalanges. Before Sans could scream, Papyrus covers his mouth with a kiss and slower his treatment just for the skeleton to get used to the feeling. Sans struggled not because he wants out, but he really wants to partake in the action. Papyrus has a keen eye on his progress, watching his brother become a wringing mess on the bed as he removed his phalanges. Papyrus licks the magic secretion, tasting the faint taste of mustard and hot dogs.

"I DIDN’T KNOW HOT DOG TASTES FINE WITH MUSTARD? NEVER MIND... AFTER THIS, WE’LL TAKE A BATH AND PREPARE FOR THE MISSION." Papyrus muttered; Sans wanted to shake the blind off as he hears the unzipping of the pants. "SANS. DON'T BOTHER. MY DICK LOOKS LIKE ANY OTHER DICK. QUIT MOVING SO I CAN INSERT MYSELF IN YOU-gh!"

"S-SO TIGHT!" Papyrus winced as he slowly slid in his brother's opening. Sans' panting heightened, struggling harder. Papyrus hissed, sensitive in every squeeze Sans gives his organ. Finally filling his brother, Papyrus could feel his brother twitch underneath him. "S-STOP OR I'M NOT MOVING."

…

“OKAY. NEXT STEP!” Papyrus announced as he held onto Sans’ pelvis. Thrusting fast and making sure to ram the parts he heard Sans moan loudest from the previous foreplay, Papyrus made sure to keep his mouth shut and take control of himself. Sans wasn’t helping, emitting sensual sounds. Papyrus growled; one hand reaching forward to the skeleton’s SOUL. “S-STOP SOUNDING LIKE A FUCKING SLUT AND TELL ME IF I’M DOING FINE!”

“h-haa-harder damn it~!” Sans cursed, breaking the pegs of the bed below to pull his brother closer. Papyrus lets go of the hip, resting his hand on the side of Sans as he landed on all four. Papyrus gasped, trying to gain control as Sans took control in riding him on the bed. “F-FUCK!”

“!!” Sans was so close to finishing until Papyrus regained his composure. Prying Sans’ legs, Sans gave a distressed tone as Papyrus removed his magic. Sans can even hear Papyrus stand up, footsteps going to the bathroom. “OK. WE'RE DONE! I KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THE MISSION.”

“HHMM…” Papyrus removed his clothes, looking down at his rod still hard with little pre-cum dripping. Even if his brother looks tempting to wreck, they have a mission to accomplish. He can jack it off in the bathroom. Heading inside, Papyrus closed the door, only to turn around and fall to the floor. Papyrus comments in the dark, “CUNT HANDLE THE HEAT I SEE.”

“coz you were dicking with the wrong monster.” Sans' left eye glows crimson in the dark, holding the second in command in place. Papyrus looks around, frowning. “HUH.”

“AT LEAST YOU HAVE THE DECENCY OF REMOVING YOUR FRILLY DRESS.” Papyrus didn’t stop Sans though, having his legs pulled apart. Sans smirked, leaning close while in between his brother’s legs. " **glad you know we’re not done yet boss.** "

 

**Reservations**

"...You did what now?" Undyne asked, eyes squinting at the taller skeleton. Papyrus crossed his arms, sitting on a chair beside her bedroom. "I PRACTICED WITH SANS, WENT A BIT OVERBOARD...AND FUCKED UP. HOWEVER! ON THE MISSION ITSELF, THE TARGET WAS ALREADY KILLED BEFORE I COULD TRY MY SEDUCTION TACTICS. I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED."

"...Sans." Undyne face palmed as the taller skeleton had a question mark. Papyrus picks up another donut; Muffet’s experimental batch filled with cider. Biting, Papyrus stared at the inside leak out, licking it until none stuck out. Undyne huffed, “At least the job’s done.”

“BUT I’M BANNED FROM GETTING ANY INTEL GATHERING! THIS SUCKS...” Papyrus finished his food, glaring at his teacup. Undyne flipped her hair, taking a cup and drinking its content. “It’s fine Paps. You’ll take them when it’s really needed.”

“YES… AND CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN WHY I HAVE TO CROSS-DRESS IN THIS GENOCIDE MISSION?” Papyrus frowned, looking at the dress hung on the closet. Undyne looks at the list and shrugs “Don’t be surprised. Everyone seems to get the cross-dressing mission at least once. Sans was the unlucky guy since he keeps coming with you.”

“BUT SANS’ DRESS ALL LOOKS NICE.” Papyrus looks up, remembering all ten dresses his brother wore. It was a variety of styles. “I’M THEORIZING… THE NOBLES LIKE SANS’ BODY TYPE!”

“Eww no! Papyrus. Don’t say that-! Argh! It’s in my head now!” Undyne shook her head, covering her eyes. Papyrus laughs, eating another donut. “WHATEVER. WE SHOULD DRESS UP AND START THE MISSION BEFORE THE CURFEW OR ALPHYS WILL SEE YOU WEAR THAT DRESS.”

“Of course we’ll finish the mission! I don’t want to be caught dead wearing this tight outfit!” Undyne holds a white lily-patterned cheongsam. Papyrus looks at his dress. “IT’S… VERY INTRICATE. I LIKE IT UNLIKE MINE... CAN YOU HELP ME TIE THE LACES ON MY DRESS?”

“Oh sure. I can help you there.” Undyne started stripping off her clothes. Papyrus follows suit, not before taking one more bite with a chocolate-filled donut.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“WE LOOK…” Papyrus stared at the mirror. “SO DUMB.”

“…Yeah.” Undyne felt a tight squeeze on her breasts, constricting her chest and hips area. Papyrus, on the other hand, fits the tight attire since he is just a pile of bones. Papyrus looks over to his superior’s direction and whistles, “I THINK ALPHYS WOULD LIKE SEEING YOU WEAR THAT.”

“Papyrus no!” Undyne turned conscious at her appearance, but had to think at the situation at hand. Mission comes first. Undyne sighs, rubbing her chest. “Let’s do this.”

“AGREED.” Papyrus stood up and followed her out, entering a garden scenery. For Waterfall, there were many territories altered to fit the aristocrat’s needs. Able to supply sufficient food and energy, Waterfall was a haven to nobles and criminals alike. It was their job to protect and eliminate the enemy within the ball. Undyne asked, “WHO’S GOING TO PROTECT THE NOOB?”

“WHOEVER IS CLOSEST” Papyrus crossed his arms, walking with a shawl over him. Opening the door, the two walked into the crimson hallway with mosaic window tiles. Papyrus muttered, “IT’S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I REMOVED MY SCARF. I FEEL... NAKED.”

“You mean vulnerable.” Undyne corrects him, looking around the greenery outside some open windows. It seems the enemies hired great interior decorators for their area, better than the Royal Castle. Undyne should force some of those pricks to come here when they’re done gathering the stuff they need. Facing the door, both officials got ready for the mission, daggers and guns hidden underneath their clothes. Papyrus asked Undyne, "DO WE KILL EVERYONE?"

"We leave a couple behind. No. Not a love couple, two monsters and that's that." Undyne opens the door, entering the area with the contemplating skeleton. A bull-like monster came to them, grinning with some heavy breathing at the two. "AH! There you are. We were just about to start."

"I apologize." Undyne bows slightly, but Papyrus walked pass through her to check the instruments. As musicians of the ball, the organizers trusted female monsters than male monsters for this job. How sexist. Undyne weaved pass the audience, her bangs covered her eyes to avoid them from seeing her wince at an ass smack.

'YOU OKAY?' Papyrus stood by his crowd, holding a violin with a concerned face. Undyne gave a faint smile as she sat down on the piano bench. Separated from the rest, Undyne looked up to see the conductor hold his stick out; she looks at the sides, looking for the noob they have to protect. He was close to her direction. 'Damn it. I hate protecting noobs.'

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You mind playing us a song~?” A falcon-shaped hybrid monster asked, tilting the second-in-command’s skull upward. Papyrus stares at the monster with a bored expression. “No.”

“Aww~ Why not? We would pay much higher for a private performance?” Another monster appears, closing in from behind. Papyrus’ eye lights face the other monster, “I’m playing for my prudent patron, not for filthy riches.”

“How noble~ will you tell us more about yourself?” A reptilian monster came to the picture with his fox comrade, surrounding the violinist further. If Papyrus had veins, it would have surely popped with the amount of drunk people around him. This was worse than Sans and even then, Sans has some sense in his words though slur and filled with puns. Papyrus surrounds himself with red bones, warding the monsters away. He glares at the drunken aristocrats. “It seems my performance is over. I must take my leave.”

“Apologies for her behavior!” Undyne grabbed on Papyrus’ waist by surprise, dragging him close to her. Papyrus hissed at the sudden strong grip, nearly snapping his lumbar vertebrae. Undyne gave them a seductive smile (Undyne practiced this with Alphys to get it right, not really knowing how to manipulate her expression for something so civil a party). “This is her first performance under our wonderful patron. Do forgive her impudence.”

“If she dances with all of us, we will ignore this minor stain.” The fox monster grinned and Undyne can feel her ribcage hit by Papyrus’ elbow. The skeleton wasn’t pleased with what she did. Undyne twitched, trying to refrain from cursing. “I-I will talk with her first!”

*Step step step…*

“I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO KILL ALL OF THEM AFTER THE FIRST HALF OF THE MEETING!” Papyrus hissed, scowling at the female.  Undyne leans close, unsure if it’s safe to talk about this. “Change of plans. I got a call from commando stink face about the suspicious trade underneath this castle. I want you to distract them as I gather evidence.”

“…” Undyne swore Papyrus would be pouting if he had lips. Good thing he is a skeleton. Papyrus let out a frustrated voice, “FINE.”

“Remember Paps. This is the first and last. No more cross dressing after this.” Undyne pats the skeleton’s shoulder, her smile widening at the increased grumpy mood of the skeleton.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*RING! RING! *

"'Ello? Oh Alphys! What's up?" Undyne picked up her phone, her left foot stomping on a guy's head to dust. Covered in blood and dust, both officers initiated a bloodbath when she texted Papyrus about the GO signal after uncovering the illegal transactions within the building. Everyone was guilty, even the snobbish noob they were ordered to protect. Thus, while Papyrus was unintentionally attracting attention by being silent, mysterious and ‘subservient’ (since Undyne knee-kicked a guy from self-defense, stating it was reflex), Undyne called King Asgore about the situation. Instead of hearing the King, she heard the Judge.

 **_"kill them. they're as guilty as hell."_ ** _The Judge stated before closing the call._

The Judge has a high status equal to that of a King as he passes (right) judgement and read over the decisions of the Royal Court before execution. The King, Judge and General - These three were supposed to be the ones dealing with the people of the land. Strange how as the General of the Army, Undyne has yet to meet the Judge. King Asgore told her the Judge has a busy schedule since the monster takes part-time jobs. Undyne was pissed with that answer. What type of Judge takes a part-time job?! Undyne went forward, looking for her subordinate. Last time she saw Papyrus, they separated to check every room in the castle.

_"YOU TALKED WITH THE JUDGE?! I THOUGHT THE MONSTER'S DEAD." Papyrus exclaimed, but Undyne was staring at a small tear on the skeleton's sleeves and some of his laces underneath._

When they were younger, Papyrus read in a website that there's a cult trying to find out who the Judge is - being the mysterious, powerful and merciless monster he/she is. Papyrus states this can't be possible since she was the strongest. Undyne can't stop but be embarrassed about that.

" ** _You weren't picking your phone when Sans called you. He's looking for Papyrus and you two weren't in the usual places_** _._ " Alphys muttered; Undyne continues walking, seeing the dust and blood decorate the once-pristine area. "We're doing a mission right now. Don't worry."

" ** _At least pick your phone up when that skeleton calls; he was bugging me 'til kingdom's come with his calls_** _._ " Alphys fussed and Undyne sympathized with her, remembering the time Sans physically bothered her until Papyrus was done with a Mission with Mettaton. It was tedious.

"Sorry love. I can't use the phone when the mission was on, but I'll try my best to kick the runt's ass away from you." Undyne reassures, hearing the lizard laugh. Nearing the exit, Undyne saw Papyrus beside two monster children - One was a bird while the other was a fire elemental.

"Okay. We're heading back to my house first. See ya later. Mwa~!" Undyne grinned when she heard her mate curse at how cheesy she was and hung up on her. She looks at her phone, smiling at the number of text messages Alphys sent. Pocketing her phone, Undyne sees Papyrus went to her direction with the monsters beside him. "Pa-Fell. Why didn't you kill them?"

"One of them is Grillby's kid ("I'm older than you!" The female elemental complained, crossing her arms while wearing a satin blue dress) while the other one is a kidnapped victim. It's against our ethic to dust minors, especially those who have no knowledge to the dealings, so we'll have to bring them home." Papyrus explained, sporting a dusty and bloody dress since he's bone attacks will need more than one hit to kill the monster. Undyne can direct her attack straight to the SOUL using her yellow attacks so she was a lot cleaner than this skeleton.

"After we change, we'll do that. And you munchkins, don't talk about the event you guys attended to anyone coz if you do..." Undyne walked close to them, lifting her bangs to glare down at them with crimson eyes. " **You'll have to pay the price, hear?** "

"Y-yes sir!" The birdie was complacent, but the fire elemental nodded. Undyne stared into the green fire elemental' eyes. She has some fighting spirit there, a hint of rebelliousness and stubbornness. Undyne nodded, walking with Papyrus. "She's like her dad."

"NO. BETTER. WHILE THE ELEMENTAL WANTS TO ACCUMULATE PROFIT, SHE WANTS TO BE PART OF THE INTELLIGENCE FORCE." Papyrus whispered. The two followed them silently, looking around at the amount of spikes (spears) decorating the area. The bone attacks slowly disintegrate into thin air, turning to dust like the rest of the monsters. Undyne chuckled, "If that's the case, I'm training her."

"NO. I AM WHILE YOU TAKE MONSTER KID!" Papyrus and her argued as they head back to the changing room. Getting older in the military sucks, you'll eventually need to find an apprentice to teach your skills and knowledge before you turn to dust or if you want to retire (ninety percent dust via combat). That's why they were arguing over the elemental, sensing the potential of others was a pain in the ass when you're forced to do work and get stuff done.

“?” Finished with their work, both Papyrus and Undyne saw someone near the house. It was too misty so they closer with precaution. They weren’t sure if the monster was an ally or foe, ready for combat if need be. Coming closer, Undyne felt sour all over, peeved at the waiting monster. This monster spells bad news. ”Not the prick again.”

“There you two are~!” Mettaton cheered when he saw the sweaty duo as he placed the two tuxedos on a hanger. Seeing the robot wave at them, Papyrus and Undyne paused to slowly move back, turn around and break into a run.

“HEY! Come back here! After them!” Mettaton knew this was going to happen, pointing at the duo and with his command a handful of mercenaries and trained cadets came out from various places, one being inside the trashcan while the other emerged from the ill-colored ground.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“…Hmph.” Undyne crossed her arms, annoyed at the failed escape attempt.

"I DON'T REMEMBER RESERVING A ROOM IN A HOTEL... DO YOU?" Papyrus asked, also forced to wear another fancy clothes by the raven robot. Undyne was dressed in a tuxedo together with the skeleton, both resting on the couch at the entrance of the hotel.

"Alph...Alphys must've hacked into my account and did that." Undyne was taking a breather. Since the female elemental requested they sneak around Snowdin due to her father's connections (Go figure), the trio (already sent the bird dingus back to his home in Hotland) had to do another stealth mission to escort the potential recruit. Screw Grillby because of his connections, private army and legally (yet to prove them to be illegally) acquired resources. After they placed the female to her room, they had to jump from roof tile to within the abandoned houses to return to Waterfall. However, rest was beyond the grasp of their hands when the two met Mettaton. Mettaton who pushed them inside and changed their attire before dragging them to this hotel, didn’t even explain the occasion. Prick!

"CAN I ABANDON MISSION?" Papyrus raised his hands, but Undyne smacked it down. "Denied."

"OH COME ON! I HAVE TO CHECK MY PAPERWORK DESK BEFORE **IT** GETS ANY BIGGER." Papyrus groaned, looking at the side as a dozen and more monsters were waiting for the elevator to open. Busted electronics, the technicians never have time to get it right.

"What took you guys so long or was it this scrap metal's fault again?" Alphys asked, glaring at Mettaton who shrunk away from the scientist's wrath. Papyrus asked, curious on what they're supposed to be doing here. "CAN YOU TELL US WHAT THE BIG EVENT IS?"

"The hotel constructed a fighting arena recently I got us some tickets." Alphys holds out some tickets. Undyne counts the tickets, "We're bringing Mettaton?"

"No. We're bringing Sans. Mettaton can suck his dick off while we watch." Alphys shrugged, having Sans come out from the entrance to stroll towards them. Sans stared at them and grinned, "how'dya feel about the genocide mission, but you probably did more than dust some shitheads..."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW?" Papyrus asked and the skeleton closed his eyes with a headshake. "your love increased and you don't have your gloves today."

"WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I J-!" Undyne smacked Papyrus before he could finish his sentence, blushing furiously at the skeleton's excuses. Alphys' expression turned darker, her mood annoyed at how close the two were. Sans touched his friend's back, grinning. "i ship them."

*SMACK! *

* * *

 

[Mall]

 

**Recon mission**

“Didn’t think you’d do the mission Sans.” Undyne blinked, hands on her hips as she stared at the suited monster. Sans didn’t look like a very happy monster, not that she would complain. Papyrus and Alphys were waiting outside to discuss the objectives in the fancy motel. Yeah… Fancy motel her ass. That’s obviously a porn hub for shit-eaters.

“everything has its reasons.” Sans placed his hands in his pockets, shrugging. Undyne thinks Papyrus and Sans made a bet. Again. She wondered what’s the price for this game?

“ARE YOU GUYS READY YET?” Papyrus’ head popped out of the dressing room, scanning the room and frowned. Entering the room, Papyrus goes over and fixed Sans’ tie. Alphys’ head also popped out from the curtains, staring at the trio as she lowered her glasses. “W-wow Undyne. That’s a nice dress you have there… For sluts anyways.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Undyne rolled her eyes, not really expecting much from Alphys when it comes to clothes. It was too revealing, showing some bits and traces of her battle scars in the past. Papyrus stands up and crosses his arms, also irritated with her dress. “I AM NOT GOING TO LET SANS BE SEEN WITH YOU WEARING **THAT**!”

**_What was so wrong with this dress?!_ **

“glad to know you care boss.” Sans chuckled, looking up at the pissed skeleton.

Well, it’s bad apparently. It was so bad, Papyrus thinks Sans is going to be seen as the decent payer instead of her. Does she look that much of a slut? Stupid nobles and their demeaning clothes; do they have to be the ones at the butt of the joke? Undyne sighs, “This was the assigned dress given by our superiors.”

“Scrap that. It’s a no go. Fuck their taste. We are changing it.” Alphys shook her head, exasperate.

**_How bad is this?!_ **

Undyne scratched her head as both Alphys and Papyrus talked to each other. Sans was quiet, stating in a low voice. “did you just make my bro… fashion trendy?”

“What’s wrong being metrosexual?” Undyne defended, glaring at the skeleton.

“at least I know what to give him.” Sans whistles which made Undyne remember something. Undyne asked, now curious. “Right. You can make actually shit aside from chemicals and SOULs... Hey! You mind making this for me?”

“….?!” Sans nearly fell on the ground as she pushed the paper towards his face. Undyne got a bit excited there. You see? Alphys drew something for her and said this might look nice, but she can’t stitch and all of the clothes down here are for sexual fantasy/blood-bath massacre. Undyne tapped her heels, waiting for the small skeleton’s response as he held the paper. Undyne glared, “Can you do it?”

“yep. not hard. i need to keep this paper for reference and” Sans pockets the paper, pulls something out and stares at Undyne. “...your measurements. kneel down.”

“….It’s because you’re so tiny!” Undyne laughs, sitting down instead of kneeling. It was awkward if she was going to do that. Sans brings out the tape measure and starts over her arms, then her hips, shoulders...

“when do you need it?” Sans murmured beside her ear as he checked the number on the tape. Undyne responds with indifference, “Two days from now. I plan on surprising Alphys.”

“you really are a slave driver.” Sans chuckled when Undyne gasped at the sudden tug of her waist. She turned her head, glaring at the teasing skeleton. “When did you start stitching?”

“not sure. just happened.” Sans removes and wraps it around her neck, taking note of all the measurements. After Sans finished taking her measures, Undyne stood up only to have Alphys and Papyrus hold out a black dress with sleeves. Papyrus and Alphys moves forward, Sans is dragged outside by Mettaton. Sans frowned, struggling (and ready to murder if need be). “w-why am I getting out?!”

“You two haven’t seen her naked yet. Papyrus… He’s a plant.” Alphys explains, bringing out her black bag filled with a MTT make-up kit. Papyrus prepares the accessories and shoes, looking at Alphys. “HOW DOES **BEING A PLANT** EXPLAIN ANYTHING?!”

“It means you’re too studious in the past, always working and being a nerd.” Alphys was placing the make-up on the table; the mirror already prepared by the skeleton. Undyne has a sweat drop at how fast these two are going, already setting up a mini-salon.

“I… CAN’T OBJECT TO THAT.” Papyrus brings in a chair using his magic, knowing the precise location of the wheeled chair. “SANS. GET OUT AND DON’T MAKE A MESS **OR ELSE**.”

“k.” Sans went out. Mettaton followed, resting his back on the wall as the guard of the changing room. Sans scavenges for anything to eat in his pockets, but he only pulled out empty candy wrappers. Sans frowned, deciding to fiddle with his phone but got tired of it eventually. He finally faced the robot. “how was boss and alphys' shopping spree?”

“They… They really got along when it comes to fashion.” Mettaton sounds surprise, well so was he. But this idea…. It has potential for something great. Sans knows the perfect prank for his brother. “hehehe.”

“W-why are you laughing?” Mettaton has a sweat drop as Sans’ eye sockets were blank, smile still permanent yet the voice had a hint of mischief. Sans grins, “it’s nuthing serious. what’s my role in the mission again?”

“You’re Undyne's escort to the auction.” Mettaton looks at the skeleton with a raised eyebrow. “Rainbow crap aside, why are you doing this Sans?”

“feel like it.... huh? i think i have enough time to stitch her clothes when i'm done…” Sans looks at his phone, reading something. Mettaton looks inside and looks back outside. "Out of curiosity, are you the type to tap on your own species which you can't be surely? Are you gender specific but then you're not much of a sexist...? Or do you fuck with generally anything that fancies you?"

"the last one sounds right." Sans doesn't sound too happy, but who would when you realized the meaning behind this. Both individuals moved aside when the trio came out. Sans whistles, taking his phone out to take a picture. Undyne wore a long ebony dress with a cut to reveal her pristine legs at the sides, hair styled with bangs and a pony tie as she yawned. Papyrus and Alphys looks accomplished. Mettaton nodded in approval while Sans held his hand out. Undyne swore that small dick was trying to play it cool when he said this,

"whatever fancies you guppy! let's just get this over with."

 

**Awkward conversation between future in-law**

"So..." Alphys started, looking down at her feet as she and the skeleton sat beside the fountain. On the other side, they can see the two monsters (Undyne and Mettaton) argue on what to buy. "Do you...uh do you er... fuck it! Tell me what's Undyne's type?!"

"I DID NOT THINK YOU CARED ABOUT UNDYNE'S OPINION." Papyrus grinned, taunting her as he moved his gloves in the pinkish water. Alphys pushed him, not enough to bring him stumbling into the fountain. "I'm not that much of a bastard!"

"NYEH. FOR ONE, SHE LIKES SPUNKY PASSIONATE MONSTERS." Papyrus looks over the shops, glossing over them like a hawk over its prey. Pastry coffee shops who would’ve guessed surrounded them? Alphys rolls her eyes, “Is that all?”

“MONSTERS WHO HAVE SHAPE?” Papyrus swore he saw Grillby and Sans a while ago, hanging out in some shady alleyway. What?! Papyrus rubs his eye sockets and looks back at the corner. ‘I DIDN’T KNOW SANS AND GRILLBY SHOP HERE FOR GREASY FOOD...’

“W-what type of shape...?” Alphys suddenly felt uncomfortable. She knows her intellect is enough to charm several monsters, added by the fact she is a useful asset in a mission with her engineering skills but... Shape? All she ate are cup noodles and potato crisps. She doesn’t exercise. She doesn’t even go out of her lab unless completely necessary, ordering Mettaton and other mini-robots to do her bidding. Sometimes, if she’s lazy, she would order the royal guards outside her lab to do the delivery. Alphys knew deep down, she wasn’t the ideal monster when it comes to **shape**.

“WELL... SHE HAS A CRUSH ON KING ASGORE BEFORE SHE MET YOU AND EVEN NOW UNDYNE STILL LIKES HIM-” Papyrus looks back at Alphys, making a face since she started to fiddle with her hands. It looks similar to the evil doers but Alphys has this worried timid face as she bowed down her head. “UH. WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS UNDYNE LIKES HUGE MONSTERS, MORE OF THE SOFT SQUISHY SIDE. YOUR SHAPE IS FINE THE WAY IT IS BUT DO TRY NOT TO GET ANY FATTER UNLESS YOU WANT HER TO SURPLEX YOU.”

‘Who am I kidding? I’m not cut out for her... I’m even against King Asgore.’ Alphys slumps down, depressed at her question’s answer. She knows Undyne adores her, but she doesn’t really know what that femme fatale sees in her. If she knew then she wouldn’t be worrying about it! However, since she’s against King Asgore, it made her feel worse. She has a crush with King Asgore too, like the rest of the monster since he is the Powerful King of the entire Underground. Worse, she knows a lot from the deep web and Undyne is part of the Wanted List. The wanted list converted into the list of **The Top Ten Monsters in Dating** , Undyne and King Asgore are at the very top.

“YOU HAVE THAT DEPRESSING AURA AGAIN. IT REMINDS ME OF SANS WHEN I STOLE HIS MUSTARD SUPPLY FOR MY EXPERIMENTAL DISHES. HE'D USUALLY WANT COMPENSATION SUCH AS GIVING HIS MUSTARD AMOUNT BUT TENFOLD.” Papyrus smiles, remembering the first time he secretly placed a ton of mustard under the blanket of the skeleton's bed. The vibrant vocabulary of curses had the famous strategist of the Underground hiding in his room for days until Sans gave up.

"hm... i'm worried, that's all..." Alphys murmured, looking down at the floor tiles. Papyrus stares at the yellow lizard and pats her shoulder, grinning. "DO NOT WORRY! THE TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WILL HELP YOU IN YOUR ENDEAVOR FOR MY SUPERIOR'S HEART AND SOUL. EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW YOU VERY WELL, I'M SURE YOU WILL SUFFER KINDLY IF YOU BETRAY MY TRUST."

"Wow... T-thanks." Alphys slaps her face, shaking her head. Papyrus knew his cheering wasn’t working. He doesn’t know what Undyne would do if she found out he made her sad. Papyrus taps his boots; eyes closed and realized he has to do something about this.

“We’re going somewhere first!” Papyrus declared in an uptight demeanor, standing up with a flash of determination in his eyes. Alphys yelped, trying to return to her seat as the second in command tug her arm to go somewhere. Alphys looks at the two monsters and screamed back at Papyrus, hoping to get someone’s attention. “WHERE ARE WE GOING?!”

“Exercise!” Papyrus sounded so resolute, he was not taking NO for an answer as the lizard tries her best to tug away.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dragged by the skeleton, Alphys realized they were going to the ground floor with the floors littered with puzzles and spikes. They were in the track and field course, at the start line. This was when Papyrus lets go and gives her a gun.

“DON’T WORRY. I PAID FOR THE EXPENSES FOR THIS GAME.” Papyrus smirked. Alphys held the gun and looked back at the skeleton. “Who in their sane minds would take this game?!”

“Business groups made it and the military found use for it.” Papyrus crossed his arms, not even bothering himself to bring a gun. Papyrus looks at the timer, counting down to 10. “We have a unit specifically assigned to monitor potential talents here. This game was supposed to be free..”

“That was a rhetorical question.” Alphys glared at the brooding skeleton. Glancing up, the female became agitated at the final countdown.

**10, 9**

“Uh... What are we supposed to do here?”

**8, 7**

“Oh yes! The mechanics. We have to reach the finish line and survive. You can use the guns and weapons littered underneath the tiles and spikes (“Why is it placed there?!” Alphys shouts. ) but if you lag behind… Spikes and flames will greet you.” Papyrus smiles with a thumbs-up.

**6, 5**

Alphys feels like she can see her grave at the finish line. Papyrus placed his hand to cover his eye sockets, looking ahead. “I can positively say you will lose at least a thousand calories in the field. Nyeh! There’s even a weighing scale at the finish line. How thoughtful of them.”

**4, 3**

“If this is about my confidence level then I feel awfully confident already! Can we not do this?!” Alphys can see the tiles behind them disappear. The whole area of Hotland was an intricate piece. Being able to change the landscape, Alphys is fully aware on the inner workings of the institution. If she falls down, there is going to be spikes. If she survived the spikes, she’ll die of suffocation and the lack of food (since she’s stabbed in place).

**2, 1**

“NOPE. TOO LATE. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A REFUND.” Papyrus and Alphys heard the alarm; the royal guard surprised to see Alphys zoom pass him. Papyrus runs after her, grinning. “THAT’S THE SPIRIT! RUN LIKE YOU’VE NEVER RAN BEFORE LOSER!”

“I hate you!” Alphys screamed, shooting behind her to hit the skeleton.

 

Meanwhile…

“Hey Alph?! Alphys! Where the hell are you?!” Undyne screamed, lifting up sofas with monsters and flipping tables of restaurants and resting areas. Mettaton was talking with the stunned bystanders, hoping to get any information out of them.

“ **He** better not be flirting with my mate.” Undyne growls under her breath, eyes glowing red with determination. Mettaton was about to place his hand on her back, but Undyne glared at him with those eyes, cancelling the plan all together.

“I’m sure the two are bonding for your future marriage. He will be Alphys’ in-law correct?” Mettaton sweats, nervous but the redhead’s eyes lost its magic. Undyne went back on her search, scanning the crowd below them. There was at least thirty-four floors in this building. They could be anywhere. Undyne holds on the rail, twisting to jump down to the next floor. Mettaton gripped his hair, shaking his head. “Why are you so unreasonable?”

“Why are you so calm?!” Undyne retorts, landing on the ground and ran to the next corner.

 

**Tea Shop**

"WHY ARE WE IN THIS SHOP AGAIN?" Papyrus looks around, suddenly paused to stare at the cakes showed in display. Undyne slowly turns Papyrus' skull away, letting him face her direction. "You are going to work for this shop temporarily and make sure me and Alphys will get the best cakes."

"...WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BUY A CAKE OUTSIDE WHEN YOU CAN BAKE YOUR OWN IN THE HOUSE?" Papyrus scrutinized her, judging her choices. Undyne gives a smile. Not wanting to tell him she doesn't trust her cooking technique when it comes to cakes (brick cakes), Undyne gave him a flat-out advice. "It shows how much I'm willing to pay for her. It's a financial status activity bro."

"AH... IT MAKES SENSE NOW." Papyrus turned silent, staring at the working monsters' odd uniform. Undyne coughs, covering her mouth. "This is service-based tea shop inspired from the human past. You are going to be a butler, wearing that butler outfit."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A SERVANT." Papyrus sounds like a whiny baby, but Undyne pushed his shoulder. "If you want to be a part of the intel gathering, you need to sacrifice your pride."

"NO~" Papyrus whined this time, banging his skull on the table. Undyne will wait for a couple of minutes for this skeleton to motivate himself. Oh there he goes, talking to himself and his so-called anonymous voices in his skull. Undyne wonders if this is a phase of entering teen hood, having imaginary voices since it should have appeared and disappeared before a monster becomes an adolescent. Papyrus is now covering his face, embarrassed, still talking about something.

Undyne picks up her tea and drinks it all down to cool herself. She slices a small slice of their bought cake, stabbing it with a fork and placing it in her mouth. She chews on it, tasting the sweetness fade in her mouth. She relinquishes the taste as she stared at Papyrus. Ever since Sans and Papyrus live together in the same place, Papyrus confessed to hearing the voices in his head getting louder which distracts him. Undyne knows Papyrus isn't the lying type so she suggested Papyrus in hanging out with her instead. Get some fresh air and some time to think.

"IT'S TEMPORARY FOR A REASON." Papyrus looked at the side, frowning. Undyne takes another scoop, feeling the cake dissolve in her mouth. It was a surprise how agitated Sans felt when Papyrus is gone from his sight, visiting them from time to time (usually entering Papyrus' room) and leaving in random times. The skeleton's insecurity must sprout from the fact a lot of monsters tend to beat the small skeleton in his working station, having no one who'll protect him. Undyne seriously thinks that's all a facade. A hoax to fool everyone, Sans is hiding something and she wants to find out. Papyrus sighs, head bowed in defeat. "GOD DAMN IT."

"Did they tell you how to get in the job?" Undyne smirked, one eyebrow raised as she saw her subordinate grumble under his breath. Papyrus stood up, eye lights gone. "YES. I'LL BE BACK."

"Good luck." Undyne watched Papyrus head over to a worker, seeing the feline maid blush and lead him to another area. The redhead tilts her cup and raise her hand, asking for a refill. She inspected the tables, noting every single crack and customer. Undyne wants to make sure nothing is going to ruin her future date with her woman. Surveillance is a priority when it comes to these areas. Hotland does have the highest crime incidence. Undyne closed her eyes, assured in one thing. “I should bring a gun next time, the sword’s too obvious.”

"IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT YOU LIKE CARRYING WHAT ALPHYS MADE YOU.” Papyrus comments, looking down at the thinking female. Undyne looks up, mouth filled with caramel fudge cheesecake. Papyrus continues, “AND I GOT THE JOB, FOR A WEEK ONLY.”

“No worries Paps. No would ever find out!” Undyne beckoned the skeleton to sit down. Papyrus carefully taking a portion of the black forest cake slice, picking the cherry from the cake and taking a lick. “HM. FAKE CHERRIES…”

“Eat it or you’re not eating the other cakes!” Undyne threatened and Papyrus plops it in his mouth. Chewing it, the skeleton asked. “ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

“No. I have to research what Alphys likes here.” Undyne slumps on the table. Papyrus understood his superior’s worry (not really), secretly eating more of the cake dishes as Undyne discussed her battle plan.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Get out there tiger. The customers are waiting~” The rabbit cheered the skeleton as he fixed his black tie. Papyrus exhales, “Yes ma’am.”

“Don’t let them down.” The rabbit leaves, followed by several maids. As soon as the female left, Papyrus slumped down on his chair.

“God. Now I know why that ass is as tired as shit.” Papyrus stood up, looking at his clothes. After receiving the part-time job, the skeleton had to secretly sneak out and avoid his men. His clothes should’ve been loose (which he appreciated), but a lot of monsters seem to dig skeletons wearing this clothes. He got a tighter size, more tailored to his proportion. At least he still looks manly, but the shop’s reputation is increasing in each passing day.

“Coming over here after every patrol is a pain.”  Papyrus glides his white gloved hands down to his black vest, straightening it. The skeleton looks at his cufflinks, eyes closed. “One more day, one more fucking day and I’m done!”

“…” Papyrus sighs, fixing his white collar. “At least I’m done with Undyne’s debt-”

*crea-eak. *

Papyrus opened the door, eye sockets turned dark when he saw the newcomers. Closing the door again, Papyrus texted Undyne to go to the bathroom in the next ten seconds or they’ll hear him scream. Papyrus waits for a few seconds until he called again.

“YOU SAID IT WAS ONLY YOU AND HER!” Papyrus hissed. Walking to the kitchen area as he watched the chefs cook. Grabbing the menu from a surprised butler, Papyrus listens to Undyne as she tries to calm him. “ ** _Relax. This is simply couple’s night with a couple of friends._** ”

“I see the freaking canine units with you, lying tits!” Papyrus cursed, glowering at the chefs who look at his direction. “ **Bro _! It’s only Dogamy and Dogaressa. That’s it. I swear._** ”

“THEN EXPLAIN WHY SANS AND METTATON ARE HERE?!” Papyrus taps his fingers as he looked down at the table. “ ** _Alphys says she might try the ship._** ”

“…” Papyrus went out to the back room, screaming when he was sure no one was there. “ARGH!!”

“ ** _Sheesh. Calm down Paps. They won’t tell._** ” Undyne isn’t making him feel any better, knowing those monsters. Papyrus stood up, holding the menu. “If they tell, I’m turning myself in to the puzzle factory.”

“Crap no-!”

*CLICK! *

“…” Papyrus clenched his phone, eye lights out like a bulb. A feline maid rests her head on Papyrus’ shoulder. “You can always work here nya know?”

“…I’ll think about it.” Papyrus looks down at the cat, scratching her ear. Hearing her moan, Papyrus looks up to see a blushing colleague. “You want one too?”

“N-no need!” The humanoid slime maid waves her hands around, spreading some slime on the floor as she blushed. While he watched the slime maid get scolded by their rabbit boss, the skeleton realized he has a lot to learn with monster culture and habits. Papyrus looks at the door, mustering Courage within him. ‘BRING IT ON.’

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*CLICK! *

Undyne stares at her phone, apprehension lingering at the memory of her subordinate's proclaimed optional resignation. Undyne can feel a bead of sweat fall down the side of her face down to her neck, 'Papyrus is kidding with me right?'

"Are you sure this isn't a scheme on making me fatter than I already am?" Alphys stared at Undyne with her lips pursed together. Sitting together, the females waited for their menu while their friends took their specific tables. Renown to catering couples, this cafe was starting to get popular due to their bizarre principle of Love only.

"No partner? Then get out!" The bull monster huffs at the stunned female, the male's friend: a shark mix breed gives a sharp grin that made the unwanted guest running away. Yes. The manager is serious in this. Customers should have a partner when they enter the shop or they’re kicked out.

"The Victorian lay-out really does have its perks, but let’s not forget about the workers~" Mettaton winks at a maid who giggles back. Sans' head fell to the table, groaning.

"i only came here for free food, not to hear some prick talk..." Sans whispered to himself. His skull on the table while the raven looks around with an optimistic commentary about the place. "at least i get to have some eye candy."

"I bet Mettaton is going to be the dom in this relationship." Alphys comments, watching Sans and Mettaton's table few feet away from theirs. Dogamy and Dogaressa was nose nuzzling. Something the two wouldn't like to see due to its disturbing Love distribution. In a Kill-or-be-killed world, Love was often frowned upon unless you're married and strong. Then you have to use that to your advantage, kidnapping the weaker and murdering the stronger.

"Nah. I think Sans can dom since he knows how Mettaton's body work." Undyne checked the menu, aware on what Alphys wants in advance. She's ~~stalked down~~ gathered enough information for this moment, nothing can stop her now! Undyne can see the door open, seeing a familiar face holding a menu and notepad (useless when the skeleton has impeccable memory).

"Hey Waiter! Come here will ya?" Undyne grinned, raising her hand. Alphys looks at the waiter and grinned, "You sly bitch. I knew you wouldn't let me come here for a reason."

"Fuhuhuhu. I want the best for you, babe." Undyne winks and Alphys closed her eyes, grin turned to smile. Papyrus went forward, attracting the other monster's attention.

"O-Oh yes~!" Mettaton cheered, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up to stare at the dressed skeleton. It seems one of the robot's bucket list has been realized, having a friend dress up as a servant. Sans stirred, supposed to fall asleep but the robot ruined it with the slamming.

"can you keep it dow- wait b-boss?" Sans blinked, rubbing his eye sockets to be in the safe side. Dogamy and Dogaressa also looked at the skeleton, astounded at how the outfit... actually suits the tall skeleton. Papyrus reached the area, bowing slightly. "WHAT'S YOUR ORDER?"

"I'm beginning to like this." Alphys whispers, a hand half-covering her face as she talked with Undyne. Undyne nodded, a bit distracted as she said her orders. As Papyrus took note of the requests, several monsters followed suit, trying to get the skeleton's attention.

"Something exciting?" Undyne asked, looking at Alphys. Alphys grinned, "I thought of a threesome. Mettaton, Papyrus and Sans. Papyrus can be the middle."

"Oh hell no. Haha. Damn Alphys. I don't think the skeleton would want to be crushed by those two." Undyne found the image funny, "Besides, Papyrus likes taking control of the situation."

"I know. But! Papyrus likes the experiment and what better way to experiment than with friends?!" Alphys' shipping instinct is opening up again. It was too cute for her, Undyne couldn't help but smile.

"Yo Boss! Didn't think you'd take this job, but you did catch me off-guard so I guess we're equal right?" Dogamy barks at the skeleton butler. The two stared at each other before Papyrus looks away, embarassed. Undyne wondered what that meant, but Papyrus doesn't even bother commenting about this. He diverts the question using his job, "NYEH. WHAT ARE YOU ORDERING?"

"I'd like to have some bones~" Dogaressa winks at Papyrus, the skeleton doesn't look too amused with that flirt. Undyne looks back at Alphys, already drinking her ice tea as she asked an awkward question. "Would Papyrus be the top while Mettaton be the bottom since he's the weakest or would Sans be the bottom because of his HP?"

"You're really thinking hard on that one, huh?" Undyne scratched her neck, watching the lizard contemplate as she rests her face sideways on the palm of her propped up arm. Undyne doesn't want to admit it, but Alphys' pondering face was cute too. There was these adorable stress lines that emerge when she has her eyebrow and a pout on her lips.

"How much does it cost to rent a butler in this cafe~?" Mettaton asked, staring at Papyrus with his long eyelashes fluttering. Before Papyrus can respond, his co-worker (a scarecrow maid) butts in with an oh-so-cheery voice. "It only costs 1,000 G by the hour, depending on the level of the employee of your choice. Fell is a level 3 butler, which would cost 3,000 G per hour."

"We'll take him!" Mettaton declared, but Papyrus refutes with a frown. "I DON'T DO THREESOME."

"i can make adjustments to that." Sans hums, staring at Mettaton with contempt. This time Papyrus face palmed, "SANS NO."

"Then accept our threesome! I won't mind paying more than 3 K~" Mettaton wraps his arm around the skeleton's hand, looking up with sparkling eyes. Papyrus is immune to the charm, reading the menu. "WHAT'S YOUR ORDER?"

"I can eliminate Sans out of the picture if you want."

"WHAT IS YOUR **ORDER**?"

"Sigh. Very well. I would like some sparkling teardrop cake." Mettaton sulked. But when Papyrus turns to face Sans, the older skeleton questioned. "does the renting come with: room service, accessories and utmost obedience from the worker?"

"PFTT!" Undyne spat out her coffee at the butler pouring Alphys her drink. The monster cringed at the heat, but was fearful of getting the ire of the Head of the Royal Guards. Alphys picks up her tea and drinks, looking at the maid staring at Sans. The maid responds with a blush. "Y-yes but-"

"Sans... No." Papyrus squints at the scheming, smiling skeleton. "I refuse to have my money wasted just so you will enact BDSM and impale yourself senselessly on my dick."

"G-grghh!" Mettaton was the one who coughed at his drink this time, only taking a cocktail. Mettaton wipes his mouth, shock evident on his face. Undyne had a normal expression, already aware of the event [see **Consent between siblings** in this chapter as well as this mentioned in the other story called **[Underfell] How do you bond with your brother?** **]** in the event **Sexual Drive**. Alphys, on the other hand, was listening intently at the sudden sex plot.

"who said i was going to use your money? (Papyrus became suspicious) you'll warm up to the idea boss, you'll see. one strawberry shortcake please." Sans grinned, the plotting grin was on. Papyrus did not like that smile, but he went away to take the cakes out for the customers.

“Sans will dom him.” Alphys whispered but Undyne whispers back. “Nah. It’s Papyrus.”

“Oh god why?” Mettaton covers his face, shaking his head at the female's conversation.

"females are weird." Sans agreed with Mettaton.


End file.
